Q & A

Here are the questions asked to and answered by Eyes for Lies:

1. How long have you known you've had this ability?

2. Did you always have an interest in deception?

3. Do you or have you worked in a field that is related to deception detection?

4. Have you taken any training in this or any related field?

5. Do you set out to intentionally read people?

6. Can you hear lies over the phone, or see them in e-mail?

7. Can you turn your ability off?

8. Do you walk around skeptical at the world because of all the lies you see?

9. Is there anyone that you do not trust, generally speaking?

10. What are the pros and cons of having this ability?

11. Do you call people on their lies?

12. Do you believe everyone should be honest?

13. Are you married?  If so, how does your husband accept your ability?

14. You're abilities could be very helpful to the police. Have you considered working with law enforcement?

15. If I told you my favorite color was blue -- when in fact it is red, would you be able to see that I was lying?

16. Are there any clues that will help me pinpoint if someone is lying to me? What do you suggest I do?

17. Why don't you reveal your identity?
    
     Disclaimer

1. How long have you known you've had this ability?
   
   I found out I was a wizard in September of 2006. When I first read about wizards, however, in 2004, my eyebrows raised with curiosity. I had a suspicion I might be one, and so hence I started my blog to test my abilities.
   
   For me, I had a lot of areas of my life that I couldn't explain and when I plugged this into the equation, everything that didn't make sense -- made sense. Read My Story on my blog.
   
   Prior to that, I always knew I was different, but I didn't know I could see lies.  I just knew I could read people really well.  
   
   My favorite card game as a child, oddly enough, was "Lie" (some people call the game B.S.).  I suspect that was because I won all the time.  I also suspect I've had this talent long before I could understand it.
   
   Here are some of my memories chronicled in my blog:
   Childhood Memories:  Powers of a Witch?
   Eyes-for-Lies Child
   
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2. Did you always have an interest in deception?
   
   
   No.  I had no interest in deception whatsoever until I found out that Truth Wizards existed.
   
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3. Do you or have you worked in a field that is related to deception detection?
   
   Ironically, I do not and never have worked in a field related to deception detection.
   
   As a matter of fact, my job requires very little human interaction.  I work behind a computer all day long, alone, without any human interaction 95% of the time.
   
   
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4. Have you taken any training in this or any related field?
   
   No, I have not taken any training in this or any other related field.
   
   While studying for my master's degree,  I did take a few psychology classes, but that is all and there was no discussion of deception whatsoever.
   
   I have an innate, natural talent. 

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5. Do you set out to intentionally read people?
   
   No.  Inconsistencies and untruths seem to jump out at me, like the light of day at night, often when I least expect it.  Other times, oddities resonate in my head like a broken record just waiting for me to consciously acknowledge them.
   
   I suspect I have an overactive subconscious brain that is calculating data constantly, and perhaps, I have fine-tuned an ability to tap into it whereas others haven't.  I would love to do an fMRI to see if my brain is truly different.  I think my genetic make-up predisposes me to be good at this.
   
   Read my blog post:  Intentions
   
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6. Can you hear lies over the phone, or see them in
   e-mail (text)?
   
   That's a great question.  When I am on the phone, or reading an e-mail, I am unable to watch the person, see their behaviors, assess their personal attributes, make character assessments as easily, or note facial expressions. 
   
   With that, I lose the majority of my clues and I am only left with the words:  written or oral.
   
   While it is not impossible for me to catch a lie with words only, the clues to deception are dramatically reduced.  But in high stress situations, words can still be very telling.
   
   Here is an article by special FBI agent Adams:
   What do suspects' words really reveal?
   
   I called out Bobby Cutts, Jr. with audio only when he said he had nothing to do with Jessie Davis' disappearance.  Bobby never made any public video appearances prior to his arrest.
   
   
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7. Can you turn this ability off?
   
   No.  I wish I could.  I can't.  For me, it's like any other sense:  hearing, seeing or touching.  It's a part of my make-up, and who I am. It's always there.
   
   There are times, however, it does turn off on its own without my control.  When I get emotional, or I am emotionally invested in something, the "lie-dar", as I call it, gets all fuzzed over and jams when I personally want to depend on it the most!  Go figure! It's human, though.  All people when they are emotionally invested in something have to deal with their emotions, which can cloud judgment.
   
   
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8. Do you walk around skeptical at the world because of all the lies you see?
   
   
   
   Actually, no.  I say that to my own amazement, too.  I am actually quite trusting of people.
   
   When I am out in public, strangers have repeatedly told me all of my life that  I am outgoing, and social, and that I have a trustworthy face.  I say 'hi' to strangers all the time, and strike up conversations with people waiting in line next to me.  I smile at faces unknown to me.  I know people are good overall. 
   
   I think because I see the signs of deception sooner than most, I am comfortable letting my guard down, because I know I will see the important warning signs.  Mind you, though, I am not infallible. I am human. I do make mistakes, too, and I have to be cautious just like everyone else.
   
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9. Is there anyone that you do not trust, generally speaking?
   
   The only time I put my guard up without any indication of a lie is when I am a customer looking to buy something.  When money changes hands, I am on high alert. 
   
   Also, people who are arrogant, who brag, who are flashy, and who try to be the center of attention often alert me that they may have some tall tales to tell. 
   
   I've written more about this topic in my blog: When I do not trust, and   Traits of Honest People and Deceptive People: Rodriguez, Suleman and Captain Sully  

   
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10. What are the pros and cons of having this ability?
    
    Pros:
    (1) Understanding people gives me a natural ability to negotiate. My negotiating skills are a gift I treasure.  One time, I negotiated a settlement with an attorney, who in the end commended me on my keen ability.  And that was after he had to concede! That was an honor.
    
    (2) I spot lies the majority of the time before they are detrimental to me.
    
    (3) Since I can read people and understand them so well, I know how to approach most people and connect with them. 
    
    (4)  Few people are a "blank slate" to me.  I have an understanding of most strangers without having to get to know them.  I do this by paralleling.
    
    (5)  I have no fear of people in general and so hence I see very few limitations.  I believe I can do anything I set my mind to accomplish.
    
    Cons:
    
    (1) I can't turn this ability off.
    
    (2) Because most people don't see what I see, I am often alone in with my thoughts. I see the world quite differently than most people.
    
    (3) When I do speak my thoughts, I have been told that I 'over-analyze everything' by people who take everything at face value.  That's taken its toll on me.  How can you show someone something they can't see?  
    
    (4) I am an emotional sponge:  I pick up on on the emotions of everyone around me. I see the pain people try to hide, and at times, the pain I see can be overwhelmingly depressing.  It's not like I am able to help people.  Most often, the pain I see is from people who choose to live in denial, or are unable to cope with the truth. No amount of kindness on my end will fix that.
    
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11. Do you call people on their lies?
    
    It really depends on the circumstance and the lie, and how close I am to the person who told the lie.
    
    For basic harmless lies, I could care less about them.  I've come to realize they are fact of life.   I just let them go.
    
    As for hurtful lies (lies told with the knowledge they could hurt me),  I will likely distance myself quietly from the situation.  Hurtful lies usually indicate I am no longer valued in the relationship, and that the relationship is over.
    
    If I believe someone is in denial, and their lie is detrimental to them, I may approach them to see how receptive they are to the truth.  I may hint at things to see if they want to see the truth.  If I feel I can get through to someone, I may try to gently nudge them along, but I am never forceful or brutal.  People only change when they want to change. If they don't want to, there is nothing I can do to move things along.  I've come to accept that.
    
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12. Do you believe everyone should be honest?
    
    I highly recommend it, but I am not the person to judge others on the moral compass.
    
    I personally value honesty.  I think it is healthy.  I firmly believe that honesty supports a healthy soul, gives us confidence, strength, security and self-esteem. 
    
    Honest critiques also help us learn and grow.
    
    When we lie, however, it erodes our confidence, gives us self-doubt, and makes us question everything around us.  Lying erodes the soul. 
    
    Denying the truth is like a cancer, it only causes us to spiral deeper into despair.  Furthermore, when we are unable to accept the truth, we are also unable to grow and learn. Lying binds us up in a perpetual state of negativity.
    
    I believe you can be honest, and still be politically correct!
    
    
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13. Are you married?  If so, how does your husband accept your ability?
    
    Yes, I am happily married to a wonderful man for fourteen years. 
    
    My husband is very accepting of my ability, and he was even long before we knew about it.  He also says he always knew I was 'different'. He used to say that I had a wisdom about me that was beyond my age.
    
    My husband has always listened to what I had to say. He was and still is open-minded, even if he can't see what I see.  That's all I could ever ask for.  
    
    Luckily, too, he is a wise man, so I am reminded everyday that while I have an exceptional ability to understanding people, he has a logical, systematic brain for math and science that I often can't comprehend.  It makes for a good balance.
    
    Occasionally, my husband will tell a little white lie such as he likes the dinner I cooked when he doesn't, and when I tell him I can see better, we both break out in hysterical laughter. We've come to find great humor in it!  Thankfully, my husband is a great sport about my oddities!
    
    This was one of my early blog posts:
    When my husband tells a lie
    
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14. You're abilities could be very helpful to the police. Have you considered working with law enforcement?
    
    Yes.  By writing my blog, I have attracted the attention of law enforcement on more than one occasion, and it is clear, my abilities are of value to the field.
    
    Read what one homicide investigator had to say here.   
    
    If you feel I can be of assistance to you or someone you know, feel free to contact me.
    
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15. If I told you my favorite color was pink -- when in fact it is blue, would you be able to see that I was lying?
    
    No.  That's an excellent question.  When people lie and fear they might be caught, or they stand to gain or lose something by telling a lie, it causes people stress, and that stress causes people to give off clues. 
    
    When one feels no pressure in telling lies, and has no emotional investment in the lie, he will give off fewer clues.
    
    With regards to a lie about color, there is not very much detail either, so I am not likely to get out-of-character clues, or inconsistency clues about facts (unless you previously told me your favorite color in the past!).
    
    For more, read:
    High Stake Lies in my blog.
    
    Do know while I see most lies, I don't see all lies.  I am human, not  machine.  There are people who flat out stump me on occasion and I am not shy to admit it when asked.  But overall, I see a lot more lies than the average person.  That's what makes me unique.
    
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16. Are there any clues that will help me pinpoint if someone is lying?  What do you suggest I do if I suspect someone is lying?
    
    If you are watching someone's eyes to tell if they are lying, please don't.  So many people think the eyes will give away lies. It's not that simple. 
    
    When I watch a person speak, believe it or not, I am not looking for behaviors like shifting eyes, fidgeting or nervousness to queue me in to a lie.   That would make me batty!
    
    Instead, I look for inconsistencies in fact, character and emotion. For me, it's all about inconsistencies.
    
    If someone is grinning when they should be mad, sad or upset, that's a red flag.  When someone acts like they are crying, but does not shed a tear, I question why.  When someone is emotionless in a situation that should bring out emotions, I look more closely.
    
    The best thing you can do to is watch for inconsistencies from the norm.  What is normal for the person you suspect is lying?  If they are acting different, then ask yourself why.  Do your homework to see if the "why" makes sense.  If it doesn't, keep digging!
    
    Furthermore, I think it is important that you are able to differentiate between your emotional mind, and your logical mind.  When we are seeking the truth, we must remove our emotions, our emotional biases, and experiential biases, and work strictly in a logical frame of mind.  We must deny our emotions when the situation is personal  because if we don't,  we are likely to get skewed results:  blacker than black, or rosier than red. 
    
    Here is a helpful article:  10 Ways to Catch a Liar by WebMD. 
    
    Last, there is a great website called Truth About Deception.  You will find lots of helpful insight here on how to deal with deception in relationships.
    
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17. Why don't you reveal your identity?
    
    I don't reveal who I am for security reasons.  I have written about people who have been accused of serious crimes.
    
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Wizards are at least 80% accurate, but no wizard is 100%.