Introverts and Extroverts

While this column focuses a lot on deception and spotting lies, I am also endlessly interested in human behavior. I do not believe you can be good at spotting liars if you only focus on lies. And so many people make that mistake. If you want to be good at spotting lies–very good–you need to understand the truth, too. And the only way to understand the truth is to understand people at a detailed level. With that, it means understanding all different types of people.

One type of personality that comes to mind is introverts.

Introverts are a very misunderstood segment of our population. We typically think of them as socially-awkward, isolated, shy, loners, and that’s quite an inaccurate perception. Out of all the introverts I see, that description of “shy” aspect actually fits with a very small minority of them. Most introverts are actually smart, engaging and interesting people.

Read this article which details introverts in a way that may change your thinking.

From my experience, introverts are “introverted” because they often see more than the extroverts, and are more easily overwhelmed with the information they process. When you see two people interacting, an introvert will see the pain in the interaction that an extrovert often misses. Dealing with that information can be challenging and often causes information overload. Yet on the positive to extroverts, they seem to push through situations and achieving things when introverts are stifled by emotional overload.  So there are pluses and minuses to both sides!

I feel I can relate to both introverts and extroverts. Neither description fits me, so I feel I am more of an ambivert (a blend of both).  With that, I relate to both sides, though I tend slightly more towards introversion.  Yet I love speaking in front of a large audience (yes, I can say that now after doing it for several years)!  I get exhilarated by the energy of other people in positive situations.

So, which are you?  Take a test here to see. It’s 81 questions — so plan to give it some time. I ironically scored 55 out of 100 — right smack in the middle, as predicted!

By the way, to my loyal reader base, I can tell by watching you for years now that I have many more introverts than extroverts who follow me.  Who knew?

 

25 replies
  1. remi
    remi says:

    I’m excited to see if many of my favorite posters, your followers like myself, will post which way they come out? So many on here who’s opinions I love to read!

  2. Melissa Francis
    Melissa Francis says:

    I took the test the other day but it seemed like maybe there was a charge for viewing more than one section? I may have done something incorrectly, but I wonder if that is preventing more people from posting their scores? The cost didn’t seem prohibitive but the fact that it was unexpected made me, at least, less likely pay. However, it does seem like a really interesting measure that references a lot of characteristics within introversion that don’t seem that widely discussed. Hope this is helpful and thanks so much for your posts.

    • Eyes for Lies
      Eyes for Lies says:

      The test is free. The results are free, but I do think if you want to see more, there may have been charges. I didn’t explore that but I did see something about fees involved with more, yes.

      • Melissa Francis
        Melissa Francis says:

        Okay, it looks like the test is a little under 7 dollars and produces an overall score, 4 subscores, and a descriptive paragraph with each score. It looks like the Sociability score and descriptive paragraph are free and the complete report is available for a little under 7 dollars, delivered immediately. I’ve copied my score for each section below but left out the descriptive paragraphs. Here’s hoping this encourages other readers to jump in and play.

        Overall results (score 29)
        In general this means that you focus more on the inner world of ideas, thoughts, emotions and reflections.

        Sociability (score 25)
        The extent to which you are outgoing and enjoy socializing.

        Cognitive Orientation (score 24)
        The manner in which you process thoughts, emotions, and life experiences in general.

        Self-disclosure (score 55)
        Whether you freely express your thoughts and feelings to others or tend to be much more private.

        Need for Space (score 96)
        Whether you’re the type of person who prefers and requires time alone.

  3. remi
    remi says:

    I got 60. I get the feeling eyes is not surprised it told me I like socializing, a variety of people, im people oriented, life of the party, & outgoing. It missed my OCD! LOL thanks for posting the link.I bet we test just like you think we will!

  4. Brent
    Brent says:

    I’m a 55, an Ambivert. And I was sure I was heading for extroversion when I was answering all those questions. Maybe that’s my extrovert wishful thinking.

    • remi
      remi says:

      From ur posts u seem to me as a very fair minded informed person, so ambivert is a perfect fit for who I have you pictured as having a good conversation with!

      • Brent
        Brent says:

        Thanks for the compliment Remi. I’ve never been appreciated for this quality before. You make me see it in a new light!

  5. Keith D.
    Keith D. says:

    The second question is an interesting one. It says, “At parties, I tend to…” and gives options ranging from almost always leave as soon as possible to almost always stay as late as possible.

    The interesting thing about that question is that an introvert might almost equally answer stay as late as possible, because as an introvert myself, I simply don’t go to parties unless I’m very compelled to by the limited company that I know will be there. The parties I tend to go to are ones with just 3-5 of my close friends and no one else, and in those cases, I’m happy to stay there all night because most of those friends are also introverts and are people who don’t zap my energy very much at all, and because they’re on nights when I obviously feel up to socializing with people or I wouldn’t go– so the question has its own built-in selection/sampling bias and isn’t as meaningful as it could be (unless its scoring is appropriately weighted).

    • Carradee
      Carradee says:

      I know what you mean, Keith. I pondered that and decided that the survey designer probably considered a “party” to be a crowd of folks who you won’t all know well (which is the case in the majority of “social gatherings”—see definition of “party”) and answered accordingly.

      • Keith D.
        Keith D. says:

        That’s what I did too, but it really nagged at my autistic anti-ambiguity side. I hate questions like that because I have to guess how I’m supposed to answer them! LOL

        • Carradee
          Carradee says:

          I sometimes get mistaken for being on the autistic spectrum, due to how strongly I dislike ambiguity. It can even make me anxious/defensive. (I’ve grown up blamed for any misunderstanding that ensues, with attempts to seek clarification usually resulting in a scolding for being “nitpicky”…and even if I got clarification, I would often be told later I’d done the wrong thing and that the other person hadn’t said what I remembered—and yet I never was allowed to try to record conversations to help my memory.)

          I don’t mean that as a “poor me”. I just think it’s worth mentioning (for the crowd) that being anti-ambiguity doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with autism. 🙂

  6. Keith D.
    Keith D. says:

    Overall results: 22: this is very closely aligned to what I scored on the Meyers-Briggs when I was in my early teens. Almost identical even.

    Sociability: 23

    Cognitive orientation: 25

    Self-disclosure: 25 – this one is interesting because although it says people like me aren’t an open book, I actually am a pretty open book– provided someone asks. Left to my own devices though, self-disclosure is not a strong suit at all. I almost never tell people about what’s going on in my life or how I’m doing or feeling or how my day was or what interesting things happened or anything else on my own unless it’s somehow related or relevant to something I’m talking about, or unless someone asks.

    Need for space: 91

  7. Tess Nikitenko
    Tess Nikitenko says:

    Biological theories of personality actually describe introverts as possessing a higher level of cortical arousal than extroverts, hence extroverts seek more stimulation via socialisation with others, will usually have the volume on the TV/radio louder, etc. Introverts already have such a high level of arousal that they do not desire as much extra stimulation as an extrovert. See work by Hans Eysenck. His theory has been recently updated in regards to more specific neurotransmitters, but his theory has gathered a lot of empirical support since its original publication.

    • katie k
      katie k says:

      One of the things I learned in my first college psych class that struck me immediately and has always stuck with me is that introversion and extroversion are matters of sensitivity to stimuli. That immediately made sense and brought a lot into focus for me.

      There was this one time I was at a daytime party with my best friend at her brother’s house and I brought a book with me that I would occasionally just sit and read on the couch. My friend asked me how I could read with everything going on around me and how I was still able to laugh at her jokes, and I explained to her that I could feel absolutely everything going on around me, I could follow every conversation and remember everything said, and the book just gave me something to focus in on comfortably when I needed centering. It stands out for me as one of the clearest examples of the sometimes unexpected nature of introversion.

      In a related story, I scored 27/100. Sounds about right to me.

  8. Carradee
    Carradee says:

    “Introvert” and “extrovert” really refer to where you get your energy—from time alone or time in a crowd. (Note that, for an introvert, a friend you know and trust can also work as “recharge” time.) Sensitivity to stimuli fits as a cause for that.

    I’m an outgoing introvert, myself. I enjoy company and social time, but it wears me out.

    Now, to take the test and see my score…

    Overall score is 45, between orientations. Interesting. I get crabby if I go even 12 hours without any alone time…which shows in my “Need for Space” score.

    Sociability: 44
    Cognitive Orientation: 36
    Self-disclosure: 82
    Need for Space: 98

    Your Personality Type: The Spieler

    Spielers are like those people you meet on a long bus or plane ride: by the time you reach your destination, you’ll know almost everything about them. Although they’re known to pretty much keep to themselves and generally enjoy their own company, they aren’t afraid to open up if you get them started. For the most part however, Spielers tend to be more of a homebody, so it’s rare that you’ll find them interacting with large groups of people. As long as they have a sympathetic ear every once and a while, Spielers are perfectly content treading through life on their own.

    Sounds like me. 🙂

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