Resume Lies: Is It Worth It?

MSN published an article today which tells the story of how one hard working young woman sabotaged her own career by lying on her resume. Her lies didn’t get caught right away, instead they were discovered by accident right before she was about to be offered a nice promotion. Ouch!

Dating or Married to a Liar?

So many people come to my website because they type in the word liar, and are looking for help because they suspect, or have discovered that someone is deceiving them.

If this is you, I recommend two websites to help you understand deception in relationships. The first I have mentioned before: Truth About Deception. The second one I would like to recommend is called LoveFraud.com. Both of these websites should be helpful for people who struggle with lying in a relationship.

Read moreLoveFraud.com is a website and a blog written by a woman, Donna Andersen, who is a freelance writer from New Jersey. She married a sociopath, and has now dedicated a fair amount of her time to write and maintain this website (and subsequent blog) about sociopaths.

Andersen explains sociopaths in depth, and furthermore, she shares with us her own personal experience with a sociopath, but that is just the tip of the iceberg for this website. Andersen provides great links, research and other personal stories and encounters from other victims of sociopaths. She even has a psychiatrist on her blog who is available for questions, and who writes posts.

Do you think you’ve ever met a sociopath (or psychopath)?

I’ve asked this question to many people, and I am amazed at the response I get. “No, and I don’t want to. ” The reality is we all have met psychopaths, but most likely didn’t know it.

Psychopaths aren’t people who are raged filled, and ready to murder the next person who walks into their trap. Instead, these people are usually exceptional manipulators who can smooth talk the best of us into weaving pieces of their intricate web of deception for them without us being any wiser.

If you haven’t checked out Donna Andersen’s website, I highly recommend it. It’s packed with very useful information, and if you are personally involved with someone who lies a lot, perhaps this information will be valuable for you. It could save you from a lot of heartache, and as Donna says, it could save your life.

Andersen also writes:

Dr. Hare (an international expert on sociopaths) estimates that 1% of the people in North America are born sociopaths. If the percentage holds true for the entire world, in a global population of 6.5 billion there are 65 million sociopaths. With so many around, everyone is bound to cross paths with them sooner or later.

I highly recommend clicking on her side bar topics like Risk Calculator, Quiz: Are you a Target, and How to Spot a Con.

It’s a fascinating read!

Facts About Lying

I found an interesting article today from the University of Massachusetts for those of you who are interested in deception facts.

It says:

  1. Sixty percent of people lied during a 10 minute conversation.
  2. The average person told two or three lies in that 10 minutes.
  3. The people in the study were surprised that they lied so much!
  4. Men and women lie about the same amount. They just lie about different things.
  5. Women most often lie to make others feel better.
  6. Men most often lie to make themselves feel better.

How many lies are told per day to the average person then?

I suggest it is best not to think about it!

Quote of the Day

Somewhere between the brilliant
white light of truth
and the bitter darkness of deceit
is a place where many of us
live our lives
in the shadows.

Anonymous

Dogs & Cats: Lies for Money

This weekend, I was talking to a neighbor who is home from college for the summer and we struck up a conversation around her love of dogs. I had heard at some point that she wanted to be a veterinarian and so I asked her if that is what she was studying since we are just getting to know one another.

“No, actually I am not. I had a bad experience working for a veterinarian and that changed my decision,” she told me.

Apparently, the vet clinic where she worked not only cared for dogs medically, but also groomed and boarded them — a common practice today. And they offered luxury boarding — the newest buzz of vet clinic pampering.

You have to admit, luxury boarding pulls on your heart strings as no one wants Fido to sit on a cement floor in a cage for 24 hours a day while we are off enjoying a luxury vacation. We want Fido to have some creature comforts, too.

So the clinics barrage us with messages like, “Board your dog in style in a doggy condo with soft, soothing music.” “Give Fido long walks — a half hour or even an hour two to three times a day.”

Isn’t that Fido’s dream – to get an hour long walk a day? Why not pay for the service while we are gone — so Fido can have some extra fun, too? Who doesn’t think of this when they board their dog? Most animal lovers do feel a twinge of guilt dropping Fido off as it is.

If you have a pet, you’ve probably seen the ads. Perhaps you’ve even boarded your dog or cat at one of these places. If so, please read on.

My neighbor said that when the customer left, the dog or cat wasn’t given a luxury condo suite as promised — nor were they given the half-hour or hour long walks that they had paid extra for.

Instead, Fido or Fiffie was hauled off to a crate where often, he couldn’t even stand — and put under the stairs, in the restroom, or in the closet — stacked one on top of the other — wherever they could stash him out-of-sight. And he wasn’t given hourly or daily walks either.

My neighbor explained how they would have over a 100 dogs boarded in the facility at one time — and there was no way the staff could walk all the dogs in one day — and so they would sit, caged up — for days — in horrific conditions.

She even explained how some people would ask to see Fido’s enclosure before they would leave — and how the staff would quickly move the dogs around — so the customer would think everything was okay — when in fact, it wasn’t. And once the customer left — what they saw was not what they got. Some enclosures would have four, five or six dogs in it.

This neighbor is a sweet person who truly has compassion for animals — and she said she tried hard to expose this practice — but her attempts ultimately failed and she told me she felt she had no other option but to leave, and it has since soured her desire to become a vet.

While you may never know what goes on behind closed doors — you can ask to have a look around the facility that you frequent. Take note:

  1. Do they show you only one small area of the facility — or do they give you the full tour?
  2. If they don’t show you around, ask to see more. Do they hesitate? If they do — ask them why. Hesitation is a concern.
  3. Do you call to make a reservation for your dog or cat, and never get told that they are booked up? If so, this should be reason for concern. All boarding facilities that are reasonable should have capacity limits.
  4. Ask your facility what their capacity limit is and next time you go the facility — ask to see the boarding area. Was their answer consistent with what you see? And hear? If you hear a lot of dogs barking — more than what is reasonable — that might be reason for concern.
  5. Ask the facility WHERE they walk their dogs — so you can check up on them. Do you see dogs being walked where they said they would be walked? During the summer and on weekends — most specifically on holidays –you should see plenty of dogs being walked. If you don’t, that is a red flag.

  6. Last, the facility should be clean and orderly. If it is not, that’s another bad sign.

This dirty little secret needs to be exposed!