Religion, Politics and Emotion

Many readers ask me to discuss political figures, people of faith, and yes, sometimes, even psychics, and identify the truth-tellers among them. And for those of you who have asked, you know it is something I don’t do.

Why is that, you wonder?

Politics and religion are emotionally based beliefs, as are beliefs in psychics.

In emotional situations, people tend to see only what they want to see. When the truth presents itself and it is contrary to a belief system, people will try to find justifications to explain why the “truth” isn’t the truth. They will say there is a misunderstanding, that what you stated isn’t what that person meant, that you are reading too much into it, that you are seeing it incorrectly. Many times insults start to fly when an agreement isn’t reached.

I’ve learned this the hard way, thank you very much!

So instead of helping people see the truth, I suspect most often, I will simply serve as (a) a source to confirm one’s own belief, or (b) a source of frustration, and hence, potentially the target of peoples’ emotions when I don’t agree with them.

Forgive me, but I see no justification for doing that.

I am almost certain that everyone reading this already holds a strong opinion on each of these subjects, and my pointing out truth-tellers will have little to no effect on those beliefs.

If you believe in God or a god, are strongly affiliated with one political party over another, or want to trust a psychic, then that is good enough for me!

Video Review of Larry Birkhead

I’ve been asked by one of my readers to explain why I believe Larry Birkhead is being honest and saying what he believes to be true in the video below. Larry Birkhead from the beginning is what I would call a positive person.

Please note: Even though Larry Birkhead believes that he is the father, and I believe that he believes it– does not mean that he is the father. He can believe that he is the father and hence with that, I will believe him when in fact it still is possible that Anna Nicole Smith had an affair that we are nonetheless wiser too. Please read I believe, therefore I am.

INTERVIEW:

Birkhead: (But) every… moment that we got together was kind of like, um…(sigh)… That was what, that’s what everything was about. To me it wasn’t about the money. That was like, that was like gold to me. You know?

  • When Birkhead says “(but) every…moment that we got togetherhe has a glint of happiness in his face — but as he finishes that sentence, the happiness fades. He is feeling pain. Pain that makes sense. Birkhead is expressing his emotions. Not holding them back. This supports honesty.

  • When Birkhead finishes the sentence with “… was kind of like, um” Notice how he stops talking and looks around. His lips tense together, and then they move upwards to one side. This movement of his lips signals that Birkhead is getting emotional thinking about his memories of Anna. He can feel himself starting to break down and he is trying to stop himself. He takes a deep breath, and you see a quick expression of happiness again in his eyes as he looks up. He has another positive image or thought — and then he licks his lips and tries to compose himself again. This expression again supports honesty. Liars are usually not as complex.

  • He continues on with “To me it wasn’t about the money. That was like, that was like gold to me.” When Birkhead says “that was” the second time (time marker :55) notice his eyebrows go up. They go up twice in this sentence. When we put our eyebrows up like that, its emphasizing how we feel, or it is a question like “Do you know what I mean?” “Do you understand me?”. This raising of the eyebrows points to an honest expression (though I am not 100% certain liars don’t do it at times if only slightly differently. I’ll have to watch).

  • Notice in this short segment just how many facial expressions Birkhead makes. His face (eyes, eyebrows, lips) are moving, expressing, reacting — communicating a lot of information. Birkhead is not holding himself back, concealing his emotions. They are flowing freely and his emotions fit the scenario. These all give me positive clues that he is being honest.

  • Yes, Birkhead struggles for words, but you can clearly see why. He is emotional. He should be emotional. This is to be expected.

  • Furthermore, while Birkhead’s thoughts are disjointed we can clearly see Birkhead reflecting in his mind’s eye. His eyes light up when he thinks happy thoughts, and it quickly fades when he realizes that she is gone — even without words — it’s consistent.

Potts: It was in those private moments…he fell in love with Anna Nicole Smith.

Birkhead: I enjoyed just…sitting back and watching her success and watching the fact that she loved being in front of the camera and it wasn’t important for me to jump up and say “Hey, I’m her boyfriend.”

  • When Birkhead says “I enjoyed” watch the swing of his head. It’s showing his emotion. It’s like an explanation point on sentence. It’s confirming how much he enjoyed watching Anna. He does it again when he says “just sitting back” and he does it again as he continues. He is showing true enthusiasm for just watching Anna here. His body (head) language is consistent with his emotions and what he is saying. This again hints that he is saying what he truly feels in his heart.

    *This however doesn’t mean that all people who swing their head are honest. Always look for a cluster of clues to make an opinion.

  • When he continues, “and watching the fact that she loved being in front of the camera “… notice how Birkhead’s eyes look out into nowhere? He doesn’t look directly at the camera or the interviewer at times? He looks off to his side. Birkhead is genuinely thinking about Anna Nicole, and his memories. His facial expressions match his mood, and the conversation. They are consistent. It’s natural, true and real.

  • When someone lies, and they are thinking up a story– their words don’t flow as smoothly. Do you notice how Birkhead’s word come without effort? He is clearly reminiscing, and his head movement further supports this for us. It’s like icing on a cake.

Potts: But it was important for Birkhead to say he was the father… Tell me about the moment you two found out you were indeed pregnant.

Birkhead: She just had this different look about her. It was really weird because her skin, everything looked different. Everything was weird and as soon as she went to sleep, I took my hand and I went, and I kind of I felt over and I just laid my hand there because I just knew at the moment she was pregnant.

  • In this segment, notice how Birkhead’s eyebrows go up.

  • Notice how he uses his hands to describe her skin.

  • He also looks away from the interviewer when he talks as he thinking, yet he continues to talk seamlessly without hesitation. His emotions and expression are consistent with the conversation.

  • When he says “…as soon as she went to sleep, I took my hand and I went” — notice that funny almost smirk of smile. It’s not a deceptive smirk, it’s a giddy smirk of excitement. Then he grins, sincerely. He should be excited here. It makes sense. It fits. It’s consistent.

  • Furthermore, when he is retelling the story of what happened, he uses his hands to show you what happened. When an event didn’t occur, we don’t usually gesture about what happened — because it didn’t actually happen so we have no physical frame of reference.

  • When he says “I just laid my hand there because I knew” — notice Birkhead’s eyebrows flex up again. It’s just another hint for us — that he is likely feeling what he is saying.

  • Note: It’s the culmination of clues that points us in the direction of whether or not a person is honest.

Potts: By putting your hand on her belly?

Birkhead: I just knew. I just knew. I said, ‘Look what if something were to happen to you. I know you know. You better tell me.’ And she said yes, were having a baby.

  • Notice, Birkhead’s answers are all logical. They all make sense.
  • When Birkhead says I know you know — watch the expression on his face. It’s a quick smile — an expression he likely made to Anna at the time he was asking her.
  • When Birkhead says Anna said Yes, were having a baby’ Birkhead gives a very proud smile!! If you don’t believe you are the father, and you are making this up — you wouldn’t be that proud!

  • Then Birkhead’s eyebrows go up with a different expression like “I don’t know”. Here, I suspect Birkhead is wondering how he knew about her being pregnant. He just knew… His body language supports what he is thinking, as well as the current conversation: over and over again.

Potts: … It was Stern not him who was listed as the father on the baby’s birth certificate. When was the first time you saw a picture of Dannielynn?

Birkhead: They were kind of low rez pictures that they had sent out to different outlets to see if they were interested in them – and they were so small I couldn’t see but even in that small form I knew when I looked at her she was mine. I knew. I said that’s my baby. She looks like me. She is mine. There is not a doubt.

  • When Birkhead starts to answer this question, notice how he starts off quickly and immediately. He talks clearly, precises and his speech has even picked up a bit. He is very confident about what he is saying. He is remembering how he felt at that time, and he is not longer feeling like he is going to break down — which is emotionally consistent with what he is saying. He is remembering a good memory: The first time he saw his daughter, perhaps.
  • Notice how Birkhead uses his hand to show the size of the little photos as he recollects them.
  • Throughout this whole answer, I keep seeing these little expressions of joy in Birkhead’s face and eyes. His joy and pride about his daughter is just written all over his face. It’s undeniable. It’s consistent. It’s something most people don’t think to fake.

Potts: …Where were you when you found out that either that she had collapsed or she had passed?

Birkhead: I was sitting in the dentist chair with half of my mouth numb, and at the dentist they have televisions in front of you and um, the headlines said “Anna Nicole Collapses” and my phone was in my pocket and it was just going crazy, and I knew something was going wrong. And I got to a friend of mine and they said we don’t want you to hear about this on…on…he said we don’t want you to hear about this on television…. but it doesn’t look good. And I just kept saying, “no, no”. I said no, save her, somebody save her. And I thought just for a second, I was in my car and I just said I’ll go save her. If they can’t, I will.

  • Before Birkhead answers, he takes a deep breath. He is remembering that moment. He is reacting to the thoughts of it by taking a deep breath. This behavior is consistent with his story — that it was a stressful time for Birkhead.

  • Notice how Birkhead’s hand moves up to his mouth when he talks about it being numb. (Time marker 3:01). It’s a frame-of-reference memory. It’s another hint he is being honest.

  • Watch how he continues to use his hands to describe the scene. It’s all consistent with what he is saying. I don’t believe most liars gesture this much in their description of their surroundings— if something didn’t happen, or they weren’t really there.

  • It is also likely Birkhead is telling us the truth here because why would he lie about where he was? So with that, we can ask ourselves — has his behavior changed here versus other times? I don’t see anything striking that stands out to clue me in that his behavior has changed or is different here compared to other places in this interview. It’s consistent.

  • When Birkhead remembers what the television headlines said, watch how he is looking out into nowhere. He is thinking. He sees that television in his minds eye. He even uses his fingers to point out the headline (frame-of-reference memory again). Again, this is very true and genuine behavior. It’s not something you can easily fake if you didn’t experience it.

  • When he says his phone was in his pocket. We can tell that it was likely in his right pocket. He looks down to it to his right. It’s a guess, but an educated one. He is re-living that moment, clearly.

  • When Birkhead says he got to a friend of his, watch the full emotions overcome him. Time Marker 3:18. He speech slows, he takes a deep breathe of air, his eyes close more, he rubs his upper lip. The outer parts of his lips/cheek quiver multiple times. These are all consistent with a man feeling pain, trying to stop himself from breaking down.

  • His eyebrows go up when he says he kept saying, “no, no”. … Hinting he really meant no.

  • When he says “save her, somebody save her” — look again how his eyebrows go up to emphasize it.

  • When he says I’ll go save her — his eyes light up. You can see him re-living that moment. In his pain, he had a silly idea — but at that time, it was a quick hopeful solution to his pain — if a little irrational — but as he tells it — his eyes express what he felt for that instant. This is again hints that this is the truth. This is a natural, normal human reaction.

Potts: Birkhead got to say his final good-bye when he was allowed to see Anna Nicole’s body.

Birkhead: There was um.. something she made me say every night before she went to sleep. (…) I said, um, I said ‘good night my sweet Anna baby.” That’s what she wanted me to say to her every time before she went to sleep.”

  • When Birkhead speaks above, you can clearly see he is distraught. It’s all over his face. It’s consistent with the story being told. There is nothing to point to the contrary.

Potts: And how does Birkhead feel today about Stern — the man he says who is keeping him away from his own daughter?

Birkhead: I think he is doing what he thinks is best, and I am doing what I think is the best.

Potts: Do you think that Howard K. Stern knows in his heart that he is not the father?

Birkhead: Yes.

  • Notice the raised eye brows again.

Potts: Why? For me, as a father, I mean for me what kind of man knows its not his daughter and keeps it from another man who is the rightful father?

Birkhead: I think somebody else has to answer that. You know, I can’t…I can’t answer that. I mean I have my own thoughts and opinions but I…again, it doesn’t help the healing process.

  • Before Birkhead even starts talking, look how he contorts his lips. His expression is “I don’t know.”

Potts: …What will you tell her (Dannielynn)? She’ll never get to know her mother.

Birkhead: I just want her to know all the good stuff because in this whole thing that comes out and of course they call it a fight and, and I call it instinct because, you know, I am trying for my daughter but you know things come out that maybe shouldn’t’ come out and things come out in court that you really wish weren’t said but I want, I want her to know that she was a great person. That she was a loving person. That she loved kids.

  • As soon as Birkhead starts talking here, notice he is full of emotions again. It’s painful for him to think his daughter will never know her mother. His emotions are consistent and supportive of what he is saying.

Potts: How do you see this all ending?

Birkhead: I see just me and my daughter, and me taking her to school and just playing and… And every time I get at a weak point, I pull out one of those magazines that I paid for and I look at them and I say this is what it’s about. My daughter has become my life that’s what I fight for. What kind of dad, what kind of person would I be if I didn’t fight for my daughter.

  • When Birkhead says I just see me and my daughter — when he says “me” — there is a small happy grin on Birkhead’s face.
  • Watch how Birkhead moves his head in confirmation of how he is feeling. He is living the thoughts as he speaks. He has visions in his mind’s eye.
  • When he says school, he is smiling again.

Quick Summary:

  • Birkhead’s answers are logical.
  • There are very few stutters in his speech.
  • There are very few pauses, or odd words that are out of context to how Birkhead should be feeling. When he does pause or struggle for words, it is because he is feeling deep emotions. That’s understandable. It can be explained. We all struggle for words when we are breaking down emotionally.
  • There is nothing to alert us that Birkhead is being deceptive. There are no red flags but there are lots of things that hint at honesty.
  • The biggest clues we have that he is being honest here is his overflowing emotions and supportive body language. Not just tears and sadness, but the raised eye brows, the twitching lips/cheeks, the movement of his hands (frame-of-reference memories), his reflections about what happened and the matching expressions, the starring off into nowhere to recollect the memories.

It all fits.

Remember: Liars can fake many things and I can never say a liar will not raise their eyebrows, swing their head, or have a frame-of-reference memory. Anything is possible. I don’t watch the behaviors of people rather I watch for inconsistencies.

So with that, while I show you what I see — always make it a point to get three or more clues to support your own personal opinions as to why you believe what you believe. Nearly every time I make an opinion, I have a mountain of clues (usually way more than three) to stand beside what I am saying.

Stern Video Review

There is a new interview with Larry Birkhead out today on MSNBC where Birkhead talks about Dannielynn. Click here to see it.

I think the video is worth watching because Larry Birkhead shows deep and true emotions. He is being honest in this entire video and he deeply, honestly and truly believes Dannielynn is his baby. You can trust everything Birkhead says in this video as it truly represents what Birkhead believes to be true. If you want me to pinpoint why, ask me and I’ll point it out.

Back on October 4, 2006, I believed Birkhead when most people thought he was just out for money and Howard Stern was the father. Now, thankfully, people are seeing through Howard Stern.

While I cannot be 100% because affairs to happen, I still stand behind what I said on October 4th that it is a 90% that Birkhead is the father and 10% that Stern (or another suitor) is the father.

Here is the video of Howard Stern when he says he is the father of Dannielynn on the Larry King Live show. I’ll explain why I don’t believe Stern:

King: Why has Anna Nicole been so secretive about who the real father of her new daughter is?

Stern: Well, um, (sigh/awkward swallow/frustrated face).… I’m going to tell you that right now. Uh, Anna and I have um…been in a relationship and we love each other and its been going on for a very long time and ah…because of my uh…relationship as her lawyer..uh…we felt that it was best to… keep everything uh…hidden. And we’ve actually done a pretty good job of that (awkward swallow).

King: You sure have. So, you are the father?

Stern: Yes, sir. (Awkward swallow again! Notice the lack of conviction in his response and in his head shake?)

King: Have there been any DNA tests taken…?

Stern: Proud father. (Awkward swallow again!)

King: Were DNA tests taken?

Stern: Well based on…based on the timing of a when the baby was born, ah, there really is no doubt in either of our minds (Awkward swallow again. Notice Stern avoids answering the question directly).

King: Did Daniel know you were the father?

Stern: He did. He did.

Here are the red flags:

  1. Before Stern even starts talking to King, notice how he swallows awkwardly. Sometimes when people lie, they salivate more than usual and I don’t know why. Not all people do this – just some. When they salivate more — they are forced to swallow more — and in this interview, we clearly see Stern swallowing awkwardly — repeatedly. He does it over and over again — which is unusual. Once, we can over look it. Twice, we can let it go. Repeatedly, it becomes questionable. Why is he salivating so much? This become a red flag.
  2. Furthermore, before Stern answers the first question and after he says “well, um” notice the frustrated face he makes. He is frustrated because I believe he doesn’t have an answer in his head – and he has to come up with one. If you are answering honestly, why would you be frustrated?? Another red flag.
  3. Stern’s tone of voice is without emotion of any kind. Why? It’s monotone, abnormally so. He talks drone-like. Is he trying to conceal his true emotions? Wouldn’t he be happy if he truly were the father? Wouldn’t we see proud moments in his eyes like we see in Birkhead’s interview?
  4. Stern gives clues that he is thinking up his answers as he goes. He wasn’t prepared for the questions.
    • He pauses frequently and at odd times.
    • He struggles for words and hence uses lots of “um and ah’s”.
    • He doesn’t answer the question(s) right off the bat or directly when the answer requires more than a yes or a no– which he likely would if he were honest.
      • When King asks Stern why Anna has been so secretive about who the father is — if he were honest, I believe he would have said something much more simple like “Because I was her attorney. We felt it was a conflict of interest.” Instead, Stern rambles on and on — as I suspect he was trying to come up with a reply instead of answering truthfully.

Please don’t assume because you see these mannerisms in someone– that they are lying. There is much more to this than meets the eye! I take into consideration many, many more things then I write about. These are only the surface clues.

Emotional Overdrive

I planned a get together for some friends this weekend. I was really looking forward to it, wanted to make sure everyone had fun, and enjoyed themselves.

We met up with eight friends (four more of which had to cancel due to the nasty flu that is going around) and we enjoyed some casual yet great home-style Mexican food. After that, we went to a local pub, had a drink and headed to our reserved lanes at the bowling alley to try something new: cosmic bowling. Have you tried it?

Cosmic bowling is when they turn the lights down low, add a fluoresces to things, put on spinning lights with cool designs that spatter the floor and walls, and turn up some hip music. The funny thing was our nearly 40 crowd didn’t recognize any of the “hip” music! That dated us LOL.

But the irony of the whole experience was I so wanted to make sure everyone was enjoying themselves and when I tried to read them — I was flat stone-walled by my own abilities. My lie”dar” — which is also a great people reader — flat wouldn’t register other people’s true emotions. It fuzzed over, hazed and wouldn’t give a read!! I found myself relying on face-value judgments which left me in the dark, frustrated and like a blind man trying to see without his glasses. No amount of scrutinizing brought a clearer image!

At times, I would spot a genuine smile — and I knew for that instant someone was having fun — say when they bowled a strike — but that didn’t tell me if they were really having fun all evening.

I half-expected this would happen. I’ve learned over the years that if I am emotionally-invested in an outcome of something, my abilities wane, dramatically. Realistically, my emotions override my logical abilities and I am unable to differentiate between my emotional desires and the true outcome — and I second guess myself. I have doubts and I am not sure what I am seeing. When we, me or anyone is emotional — your ability to see things clearly is not dependable.

I think I’ve become hyper-aware of my emotions and I realize when they kick in. We all have this emotional overdrive (which hits us at varying degrees depending on the circumstances)– I just don’t know how many people are aware of it and explain it like I do.

There are times when my emotional overdrive kicks in and I AM able to consciously work to shut it down and focus on the true logic at hand. I can do it– but it takes time and LOTS of effort. And frankly, Saturday night I wanted to have fun so I let things be. I floated along in the fog of wonder!

So when the lie detector most wants to know something personal — affecting her — for which she is emotionally invested — guess what? There are times when I am just like the rest of the world! I must rely on face value emotions. Boy do I hate that! I feel so handicapped.

I did have one of our friends in the car on the way home with us — who is way better than average at reading people — so I spilled my guts to him — and got his take. He was certain everyone had a good time and would do it again. I’ll just have to trust him and take his word for it.

I hate when that happens…

Are you aware of your emotional overdrive short-circuiting your logic?

Spot the Fake Smile

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