Want to be truly happy? Read this…

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Being good at reading and understanding people, one thing that is hard for me is that I see a lot of emotions–many emotions on people’s faces each and every day. These emotions tug at my sleeve endlessly.  And the one emotion I see truly see the least is happiness.

Does that surprise you?

It’s actually quite rare to find a person who is completely fulfilled and content with just being who they are. Most people are not happy with their daily lives, schedules and life’s choices. They feel stuck in so many ways.  Some people are in bad relationships, have bad jobs, or difficult family lives.  And they wear it on their faces.

Open up conversations with strangers and it doesn’t take long for people to let out why they are unhappy. We all seem to know what makes us unhappy.

It’s shocking for me how many times I have asked people who aren’t happy the most important question: What would make you happy?  And they don’t have an answer. They seem better versed with “unhappiness” instead of happiness.

Isn’t that interesting?

I can’t tell you how many times I have rambled off to people these questions and got no answers of any substance back:  What is your ultimate dream in life? Where would you be if you could be anywhere right now? What would you be doing?  What is your dream job?  What is your favorite hobby? What do you love to do and excel at?  Where do you want to be in 5 years or 10 years?  Few people have answers.

I scratch my head at that point and reflect back to them, “How can you find happiness if you don’t even know what will make you happy?”

At that point, I get the standard responses, if I could live on a beach or an island for the rest of my life, or win the lottery, I would be content. But they really wouldn’t be and can’t see it.  Any good thing in excess becomes boring, but few people realize this.

Finding and obtaining true happiness takes lots of thought and deep questioning within your soul.  You first have to get to know yourself. That’s number one.  Then you have to identify what you love, excel at, gain momentum from doing, and do it.  Essentially, you have to cultivate your passion until it fills your sails and gives you purpose! Wanting to wake up and do something every day brings incredible joy, fulfillment and contentment.

It takes considerable effort, time, and learning to accomplish, too.

Finding happiness is not an easy process, or one that happens in days, weeks or even months. It can take years. Sure, you’ll have happy moments in between, but they are more fleeting. When you find true, deep happiness, it comes from within and is more powerful and soul-quenchingly satisfying. The feeling comes around much, much more often as no emotion is constant.

You just have to be committed to get to know yourself, learn what ultimately makes you happy, and do what makes you happy as much as you possible can!  This often leads to mastery and a fulfiling sense of accomplishment.

You can have true happiness. The only one stopping you from it is YOU, yourself.  So look within, not out, for the true key to unlock your happiness, and feel “bliss” frequently. It’s the pot of gold to life.

Here is a great article:  The Hat Trick of Happiness

How Much You Smile Could Predict Your Divorce Potential

Turn that frown upside down

In a 2009 study from DePauw University, researchers found that how much you smiled as a child and young adult could accurately predict your divorce potential. Check it out.

I find that fascinating because I believe emotional expressions are windows to our soul, and who we are as people. I also believe we are hard-wired to feel certain emotions. I suspect that our facial structure actually predisposes us to feel certain emotions more than others. The reason I say that is people who have what I call a very happy face structure (high check bones, broad smiles, and round faces) are typically happy people. Ask people with these faces next time, and they can’t help but smile! And people with heavy brows often stress and frown more. It’s just the way it is.

People who have droopy outer corners of their eyes will have more of a tendency to feel sadness.

So I absolutely believe people who frown more and smile less are much more likely to have a marriage end in divorce. Do you?

15 Signs A Marriage May End In Divorce

Personality-Based Emotional Intelligence Test

Personality split

I have been spending time trying to understand more information about emotional intelligence, and how it combines with my ability to spot deception. Having read about emotional intelligence lately, I am finding the definitions fall short in describing the depth of my “tool set”, for a lack of a better term. While I do understand emotions extremely well, I believe there is more to reading people than just emotions. Emotions, to me, are a subset of my skills, as is deception detection. It’s one element, but not the largest element. Does that make sense?

The boarder picture is understanding people and human behavior, and one explanation that I have been exploring lately is personality intelligence. I seem to have templates in my head for understanding people. I feel like I live in a world without strangers.  Maybe its due to pattern-matching of facial features, emotions, and behaviors together?  I am trying to understand it more.

Today in my quest for more information, I took a test online, the Personality-Based Emotional Intelligence Test. When my score popped up, it said I scored higher than 96.2% of people who took the test. That caught my eye. I found the test easy and required little thought. I missed three answers. I wrote the website owner to find out more information about this test and the research behind it (see comments below–people are getting the same score for different answers–uh oh!).

I truly believe who wrote this test gets it! They understand what I am doing and I’d like to learn more about it!  This correlates to the “facial profiling service” I offer.

On the website where the test is given, it says:

This website has been offering a wide selection of psychological tests, mostly personality tests, since late 2011 and has given millions of results since then. It exists to educate the public about various personality tests, their uses and meaning, the various theories of personality and also to collect research data. This website is under continuous development and new tests and information are being added all the time.

This website also exists for the promotion of open source assessments and open data. A number of open source measures of popular psychological constructs have been developed and are made available under a creative commons licence on this website, see the full list. Also, at the end of every test users are asked if their data can be saved and used for research. The (anonymous) data that this yields can be downloaded from the data page. This data has already been used in several academic articles.

How did you score on the test?

Dancing with the Stars Co-host: Erin Andrews

Several of you wondered about Erin Andrews’ reaction to the proposal of Noah Galloway to girlfriend Jamie Boyd Best.

She clearly makes the look of  “No way, you’ve got to be joking” as she rolls her eyes!

She also makes contempt when she is looking at Jamie Boyd Best.

Without knowing Erin, I right away have to wonder if she is married, because this appears to be a serious case of “why her” and “not me” jealousy!

The DailyMail website quotes Erin as saying, “Uhhhhh, it’s called an oh great I’m going to bawl on camera..ugly cry face alert.”

I don’t believe that excuse at all.

You aren’t contemptuous when you are happy.


Anita Smithey “The Verdict” 48 Hours

When I watched Anita Smithey on 48 Hours, I do not believe that she said one honest thing in the entire interview. It was jaw dropping and the clues were abundant from the very first minute we see her to the very end of the interview. I could write a book on her.

Anita tries to portray a very different person then she truly is, but fails miserably at it.

When Anita hears the verdict, if she was truly a victim, I would expect surprise or shock, but we see none of it. Then you can literally see Anita work up a reaction–a very fake one. Listen to her give a fake wail as she attempts to “collapse” in her attorney’s arms. And look at how upset she is in this still shot below when she is wailing!  That wail she creates is anything but real and genuine.

When I listen to the 911 call, there are immediate clues that she is acting in her voice. There are notable changes which can be immediately articulated.

I love how she shoots him, and then has no fear and goes outside and says on the 911 call as she sits outside on the steps, “I don’t want him to die.”

Wait a minute here!!   I thought you were afraid for your life–that he was going to kill you–but you turned your back and went outside and sat down?  And had no fear??

Would you turn your back on someone without knowing if they are 100% dead if you feared for your life?

How is that anywhere consistent with her story?

It’s flat out absurd.

Anita said on 48 Hours, “Did I think he could kill me, yes I did.”

If you are truly afraid, you don’t turn your back on the man even if you think he is dead, because if he is a dangerous, he could just pull through and surprise you, and kill you!  Fear doesn’t dissipate that quickly in a life or death situation.

I love how Anita says “he had violent sex with me” instead of rape. You notice she can’t use the word “rape”?  It’s notable.

According to one of Anita’s friends during the trial, Anita shared with her that she and Robert willfully engaged in “rough sex” by choice and there was knives involved and she enjoyed it. It was her “thing”.


When Anita recounts Robert coming after her, she shows no supportive emotions whatsoever. You’d think she was talking about a lunch party instead.  There is no fear, stress, concern, or tension in her face at all. It’s eerily missing.

Anita’s injuries are completely superficial, and worse she admits she made them herself. There was no intense pressure from police in the interview we see. She could have left at any time, but she chose to keep talking by choice–to convince police of what she was saying.

After the murder, Anita called her best friend and said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t want it to go this way. He was hurting me.”

I would expect Anita to say that she feared for her life, that he was raping her and was going to kill her, but she doesn’t.  She can’t quite say it because I believe its untrue.

Anita says when talking about Robert showing up at her house the night she killed him, “I was a little concerned with what he is doing here. I don’t know where this is going.”

Anita wants you to think he surprised her, right?  Yet we hear that he came by to have sex on Monday nights when her kids were at their father’s house. So it wasn’t unusual for them to spend time together.

Furthermore, a detective says, “Anita first said Mr. Cline came over to the house that night and somehow was able to get inside the house.”

Then she says after Robert came over, he fixed her cable.  He just randomly shows up and decides to fix her cable?  Are you buying it?

After he fixed the cable, they watched a movie and started kissing, “Okay, so he wants to have sex, and this is what we do and he’ll go home.  So I’m sort of consensual on…you know, having sex with him….initially.”

Do you see how she is all over the board here?

After the sex, 48 Hours reports that Anita said she got dressed and she told Robert to leave, and she talks about how he put a knife to her neck.  Notice she tells him to leave–that’s quite bold if she is an abused women under his control. Don’t you think?

Anita says, “‘I’m like….if you hurt me, you’re not going to get away with this. Everyone’s gonna know it’s you’ …Because I felt at that moment, is he threatening to kill me? Like what is he doing with the knife? I don’t understand like what he’s doing.”

Does that make sense?

If you just had sex with someone, and they violently attack you afterwards and come after you and put a knife at your neck, would you not know what was going on?

Her story is a absurd.

Then Anita says nothing more about the knife, her being cut (no details), just now Robert wanted “rough sex”.

No offense here, but when men age, they typically need time before they can engage again.  And she no longer fights him?  Suddenly he is reaching for coconut oil — that investigators found in the bathroom, not where Anita said it was.

Yeah, right.

So Anita says, “I’ve gotta gun (which she says put under her pillow when he got the coconut oil) get off of me.”

And she wants us to believe big bad Robert Cline who is so much bigger than her, and raping her, and who is sitting on top of her docilely stops, watches her wiggle around, finds her gun and shoot him.

In the back.

How did he even get on his stomach when he was raping her?

So much of this story is missing. For a reason.

Suddenly she is stronger and more powerful then him. Wow!

Then she says, “We were so close, like he was right there. We were so close. To the point that I think he was almost leaning on the gun.”

With his back?

This is crazy.  Big bad Robert just leaned on her gun.  He had no fear of a gun and let her wield it at him.


Her entire account is riddled with lies, false accounts and nonsense. I personally believe she intentionally killed Robert.  She was sick of him, his arguments with her, and wanted finally to show him who was really in control and it wasn’t Robert.

I suspect Anita and Robert had tense relationship.  They argued and were like oil and water at times. I don’t disagree about that. There was verbal arguments, and maybe some heated situations, but I don’t believe a word Anita tells us this incident at all.

I could write a book about this woman. Thank goodness she is locked up!

There is actually one huge whopper in this case that I haven’t addressed.  Do you know what it is?