Emotional Connections Elevate Attractiveness

jill111 / Pixabay

What is your most attractive feature? What do you think is the single most important element about you that draws other people to you?

Many people will say their smile, beautiful hair, outgoing personality, and so forth.  And these may initially draw someone to you, but what keeps them?

Could it be your ability to emotionally connect with others? Could that play a big role in your attractiveness?

That’s what a scientific study has revealed. Click here to read more.

It makes sense when you think about it.

People who “get us” are more appealing to us then those who don’t, but did you ever think about it concrete terms of emotionally connecting?  We often think of attraction as physical not emotional.

We all have a need to relate to other people, to be accepted and the more we are able to connect with people on an emotional level, the more attractive we become.

You’ve probably encountered this before. You meet someone you consider average in looks. Then you talk to them and next thing you know you find them really good looking, when maybe an hour before you didn’t. You formed an emotional connection.

It’s fascinating, isn’t it?

Understanding emotional expressions should help you connect with more people because the sooner you can read an emotion on someone’s face — the faster you can “relate” to how they are feeling. Want to learn how to read emotions and relate to people better?  Check out Renee’s training!

Now they need to do a study on relationship successes of people who can read facial expressions accurately.  Do they have more successful relationships?

I suspect the answer would yes.  What do you think?

 

What Clues Reveal A Liar?

websiteMany people assume when they see my nickname of “Eyes For Lies” that I teach people about how the eyes reveal lies. I do not teach nor do I believe that our eyes reveal lies. As an expert in spotting deception and understanding human behavior identified in a world renowned scientific study, I rely on different clues than most people are familiar with. I believe that in order to be good at spotting deception you have to understand people first and foremost.

When I teach my class, the first morning, I ask participants to articulate what markers on the human face reveal that a person is truly feeling happiness rather than faking it? Or what are the markers that reveal someone is truly sad versus putting on an act?

Would you be surprised to hear that less than 5% of people—including deception detection professionals—can accurately define the markers on the face that identify genuine emotion? It surprises me because this is fundamental requirement to understanding people.

It is highly important to understand emotions, and be able to identify genuine and fake emotions in seconds, if you want to get to the truth and quickly. This essential information.

One myth many participants believe is that people can use emotions to manipulate other people, but this is only true if you don’t understand the science behind emotional expression. Once you understand the science, no one can manipulate you using emotions again.  You will see right through them.  Emotional understanding on the scientific level is that powerful.

People also display hidden emotions that most people don’t see, but you don’t know what you don’t see, right?  Getting keyed into this information is also important.

A person can try to conceal how they feel, but their face will leak it out in as short as 1/25th of a second at times. I see these and so does a small percentage of our population. But 85% of the population do not see these hidden emotions without training. These are a fascinating topic in and of themselves.

I introduce participants in my class to all in these elements before lunch on the first day of my three day course.

So, you see, the truth is written all over our face, it’s just few people know what to look for.

Once you understand the science of emotions, and can confidentially and quickly (within seconds) articulate what emotion a person is feeling as well as identify if its genuine or fake, you are ready to move into understanding human behavior on a deeper level.

Human behavior is very complex. Each move we make, every word we chose, each behavior we display reveals information.

When a liar is trying to balance the truth from the lie, they become cognitively overloaded, and that weakness causes liars to leak many subconscious clues that reveal the truth. These clues are the most reliable clues simply because they cannot be controlled or manipulated. A liar literally betrays himself, and that’s what I expose and teach in my three day class.

If you are interested in my training, my next course date is March 14-16, 2016, in Milwaukee at the Hilton Garden Inn by the airport. Click here for more information.

Want to be truly happy? Read this…

jill111 / Pixabay

Being good at reading and understanding people, one thing that is hard for me is that I see a lot of emotions–many emotions on people’s faces each and every day. These emotions tug at my sleeve endlessly.  And the one emotion I see truly see the least is happiness.

Does that surprise you?

It’s actually quite rare to find a person who is completely fulfilled and content with just being who they are. Most people are not happy with their daily lives, schedules and life’s choices. They feel stuck in so many ways.  Some people are in bad relationships, have bad jobs, or difficult family lives.  And they wear it on their faces.

Open up conversations with strangers and it doesn’t take long for people to let out why they are unhappy. We all seem to know what makes us unhappy.

It’s shocking for me how many times I have asked people who aren’t happy the most important question: What would make you happy?  And they don’t have an answer. They seem better versed with “unhappiness” instead of happiness.

Isn’t that interesting?

I can’t tell you how many times I have rambled off to people these questions and got no answers of any substance back:  What is your ultimate dream in life? Where would you be if you could be anywhere right now? What would you be doing?  What is your dream job?  What is your favorite hobby? What do you love to do and excel at?  Where do you want to be in 5 years or 10 years?  Few people have answers.

I scratch my head at that point and reflect back to them, “How can you find happiness if you don’t even know what will make you happy?”

At that point, I get the standard responses, if I could live on a beach or an island for the rest of my life, or win the lottery, I would be content. But they really wouldn’t be and can’t see it.  Any good thing in excess becomes boring, but few people realize this.

Finding and obtaining true happiness takes lots of thought and deep questioning within your soul.  You first have to get to know yourself. That’s number one.  Then you have to identify what you love, excel at, gain momentum from doing, and do it.  Essentially, you have to cultivate your passion until it fills your sails and gives you purpose! Wanting to wake up and do something every day brings incredible joy, fulfillment and contentment.

It takes considerable effort, time, and learning to accomplish, too.

Finding happiness is not an easy process, or one that happens in days, weeks or even months. It can take years. Sure, you’ll have happy moments in between, but they are more fleeting. When you find true, deep happiness, it comes from within and is more powerful and soul-quenchingly satisfying. The feeling comes around much, much more often as no emotion is constant.

You just have to be committed to get to know yourself, learn what ultimately makes you happy, and do what makes you happy as much as you possible can!  This often leads to mastery and a fulfiling sense of accomplishment.

You can have true happiness. The only one stopping you from it is YOU, yourself.  So look within, not out, for the true key to unlock your happiness, and feel “bliss” frequently. It’s the pot of gold to life.

Here is a great article:  The Hat Trick of Happiness

How Much You Smile Could Predict Your Divorce Potential

Turn that frown upside down

In a 2009 study from DePauw University, researchers found that how much you smiled as a child and young adult could accurately predict your divorce potential. Check it out.

I find that fascinating because I believe emotional expressions are windows to our soul, and who we are as people. I also believe we are hard-wired to feel certain emotions. I suspect that our facial structure actually predisposes us to feel certain emotions more than others. The reason I say that is people who have what I call a very happy face structure (high check bones, broad smiles, and round faces) are typically happy people. Ask people with these faces next time, and they can’t help but smile! And people with heavy brows often stress and frown more. It’s just the way it is.

People who have droopy outer corners of their eyes will have more of a tendency to feel sadness.

So I absolutely believe people who frown more and smile less are much more likely to have a marriage end in divorce. Do you?

15 Signs A Marriage May End In Divorce

Personality-Based Emotional Intelligence Test

Personality split

I have been spending time trying to understand more information about emotional intelligence, and how it combines with my ability to spot deception. Having read about emotional intelligence lately, I am finding the definitions fall short in describing the depth of my “tool set”, for a lack of a better term. While I do understand emotions extremely well, I believe there is more to reading people than just emotions. Emotions, to me, are a subset of my skills, as is deception detection. It’s one element, but not the largest element. Does that make sense?

The boarder picture is understanding people and human behavior, and one explanation that I have been exploring lately is personality intelligence. I seem to have templates in my head for understanding people. I feel like I live in a world without strangers.  Maybe its due to pattern-matching of facial features, emotions, and behaviors together?  I am trying to understand it more.

Today in my quest for more information, I took a test online, the Personality-Based Emotional Intelligence Test. When my score popped up, it said I scored higher than 96.2% of people who took the test. That caught my eye. I found the test easy and required little thought. I missed three answers. I wrote the website owner to find out more information about this test and the research behind it (see comments below–people are getting the same score for different answers–uh oh!).

I truly believe who wrote this test gets it! They understand what I am doing and I’d like to learn more about it!  This correlates to the “facial profiling service” I offer.

On the website where the test is given, it says:

This website has been offering a wide selection of psychological tests, mostly personality tests, since late 2011 and has given millions of results since then. It exists to educate the public about various personality tests, their uses and meaning, the various theories of personality and also to collect research data. This website is under continuous development and new tests and information are being added all the time.

This website also exists for the promotion of open source assessments and open data. A number of open source measures of popular psychological constructs have been developed and are made available under a creative commons licence on this website, see the full list. Also, at the end of every test users are asked if their data can be saved and used for research. The (anonymous) data that this yields can be downloaded from the data page. This data has already been used in several academic articles.

How did you score on the test?