Will Smith and Chris Rock at the Oscars

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I didn’t catch the Oscar’s last night. It’s not really my cup of tea, to be honest, but several people have requested my thoughts about last night’s incident with Will Smith and Chris Rock.

When I first watched the incident in the video above, the slap or punch or hit sounded so loud, yet I didn’t see Chris Rock respond in kind to such a hard hit.  It made me wonder for a second:  Is this real? Or a staged event?  Did you question it, too?

But afterwards, seeing Smith say, “Keep my wife’s name out of our f–ing mouth,” and the concurrent response of angry words he said, and the tension in his face clearly supports this is not staged, but real.

Will Smith even walks away after the slap with a smug smirk on his face. He is proud about what he did, which makes me nauseated, to be honest.

I find Smith’s actions to be completely unacceptable on any level. He was like a 2-year old child having a temper tantrum at a formal event!  He resorted to physical aggression to (a) communicate and (b) intimidate, (c) humiliate and (d) bully Chris Rock.

This is not a correction–drawing a respectable boundary, if he felt violated as an adult. This is abusive. If Smith had an issue, he could have maturely addressed his grievance afterwards whether in private or in public. There are mature ways of doing things.

Where is society going?  It seems we are going backwards!

When I see people who act like Smith and see they can and will do this in public without regret, I shutter to think what they are like behind closed doors where they feel freer to be cruel. When you can’t control a temper in public, there are often many other things you can’t control either, and its scary.  This gives me great pause in trusting someone after witnessing this!

Smith also did not give a sincere apology, but instead he continued his “victim stance”–even blaming Rock for being the abuser.  Smith said, “I know, to do what we do, you gotta be able to take abuse,” Smith also said in his speech. “You gotta be able to have people talk crazy about you. In this business, you gotta be able to have people disrespecting you and you gotta smile and pretend like that’s OK.”

He also said, “At your highest moment, be careful, that’s when the devil comes for you”

He is a “victim”, which is another sad situation. Neither he nor Jada have to be a victim if someone insults them. That’s toxic behavior.

As for Chris Rock, if his comment was meant to attack Jada’s alopecia, it was not an appropriate joke, but I have to give it to Chris Rock. He didn’t resort to more escalation after being physically attacked! That took maturity to do that. And I thought it was common to roast people at the Oscars. Am I wrong?  I am not an expert on Oscar history, my apologies, if I am wrong.

Frankly, as a society, we should not accept people acting like Smith did. It’s totally unacceptable on every level. There is no excuse for it. Period.

Lastly, there are multiple reports of Nicole Kidman reacting during all of this. Some say it was due to the slap, and other say the moment was captured before. But either way, they captured a great expression on her face. Do you know what it is?

 

Two Types of Deception Quote

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There are two ways to be fooled.  One is to believe what isn’t true; the other is to refuse to accept what is true.”
–Soren Kierkegaard

ABC The Bachelor: Clayton, Sarah and Empathy

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If you caught the Bachelor last night, Clayton confronted one of the women on the show–questioning her sincerity to commit to marriage at the end of the season. It was a fascinating moment. When you look for people to trust, you want to see genuine emotions, which Sarah showed. And you also want to see your partner show a compassionate response to your genuine emotions–to know that they are also capable of genuine empathy and compassion, too.  No one wants a partner void of empathy, right? That’s a high risk scenario!

With Clayton last night, he was emotionally stone-faced in response to Sarah’s heart-pouring response to his questions!  I was in awe of it. It was glaring and obvious and jaw-dropping for me.

You can’t be quick jump to the conclusion that because he shows no emotions, he therefore has no empathy. I would want to see other supportive evidence first! Always! There are reasons why people have impairments that don’t mean they are cold-hearted!

Clayton may not have been able to read Sarah and could have been in deep in thought trying to dissect her sincerity. That is absolutely plausible. He does seem to struggle with the ability to read people if you’ve been watching the show. He actually shows somewhat of a handicap in this ability.

Even still, I would still expect some response to her genuine emotional display of sadness and her sincere vulnerability, but Clayton had no emotional (visible) response.  He did express cognitive empathy after the ordeal, and I was glad to see that.

This could come from him having another medical issue such a mild form of autism as well. You need to absolutely consider there may be other causes to his inability to read or express emotion. Is it consistent throughout his other interactions with people?

If I were Sarah, or any of the girls on the show, going forward I would watch his emotional responses closely and see if I can understand his ability to empathize. And if it is reduced, what the reasoning may be for it? He may be able to provide some insight that isn’t public.  Or he could give us a cold response, right?  Wouldn’t you want to know?!

Time for a detective hat!

From the previews of the upcoming episodes, it appears that Clayton tells two women that he was intimate with them in front of each of the women–which again, makes you question him again.  Why on earth would anyone do this?  Is this a lack of empathy or difficulty in understanding the complexity of human relationships? The previews are mind-boggling.

I am always on the lookout for people who show low or no empathy–especially being a highly empathetic person. To be a highly empathetic person in a low or no empathy relationship–that’s painful and difficult at best!

I don’t have answers on Clayton and I may not get them, but I put this out for food for thought. Do you watch people’s interactions with others to see if they are empathetic? It’s actually important to do for your well-being and could even in some cases affect your safety!

My goal in 2022 is to help people understand others who pose risk to lie or cause harm to you. People low on empathy pose risk even if they don’t intention to at times. Understanding one’s ability to empathize is very important. Stay tuned!  I’m going to be bringing my classes into the virtual world this year! Interested? Sign-up to get notified!

Alec Baldwin’s Interview on ABC

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Did you catch the interview of Alec Baldwin last night with George Stephanopoulos? He talked about the horrible day in October of this year, when a prop gun went off on the set of Rust, and killed cinematographer Halyna Hutchins and wounded director Joel Souza.

I found the interview very hard to watch. He turned my stomach inside out multiple times.

Baldwin showed an arrogance, a defiance and a callousness that bothered me.

Did you catch those? They are always red flags for you to pay attention, because exactly as seen, it can affect your safety. People who have those traits will always put themselves and their needs above you.

Baldwin actually showed more sadness for himself then he did for Halyna or the trauma he caused his crew. At times, it was simply, and disgustingly, all about him, even though he said that he did not want us to see him as a victim.

It’s very clear, however, Baldwin sees himself as a victim. He also sees himself as special and deserving of special treatment.

Do you see the signs of a toxic personality here??

I do.

According to Baldwin, nothing was his responsibility, and frankly, I don’t buy it. Not for a second.

His interview was done in desperation because he fears being held accountable and how that will cause him to suffer. It wasn’t about how his actions or in-actions caused grave harm and death. No, He doesn’t want to be held liable in anyway for what happened. The entire interview was him trying to find anything or anyone else to hang this horrible accident on.

I can’t imagine any lawyer telling him to do this interview. His arrogance actually hung him out to dry and will help those suing him. Not surprising for his personality type. They think they can convince you of their “truths”.

Do I believe Baldwin set out to intentionally harm people on the set? No.

Are there indications that someone else tried to cause havoc and harm on the set knowingly? I haven’t seen anything to support this yet, but that could always change. I’m not privy to the investigation.

Do I think there was a dangerous and reckless disregard for the safety of others? I absolutely do.

Do I think Baldwin was acting recklessly by not following safety protocols on the set? 1000%. And he should be held liable. He may not be the only person here who acted with recklessness and lack of concern for the safety of others, but he was at the helm of this production–the one ultimately responsible. And he doesn’t want to own that on any level.

Do I think Baldwin has skipped those safety steps before? I do. He clearly thinks he doesn’t have to do that stuff because he pays people, which is rubbish. Safety is safety and no one regardless of status is above that.

The fact that Baldwin said toward the end of the interview that he didn’t feel any guilt about what happened–I hope that cause a strong reaction in you, because it should. It shows his utter disregard for others and his completely lack of empathy. Any human being who has empathy would feel guilty as hell for what happened in that scenario and the fact he didn’t, speaks volumes.

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Keep your eyes out in 2022!! I am going to be offering a very limited special 1:1 training/coaching for people who want to learn how to identify people who cause harm! I will only be accepting people who are very serious about learning this skill set and truly want to change their lives.

Jasmine Hartin on 48 Hours

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If you watched Jasmine’s story on 48 Hours this past week, you saw quite a story!

Known as a partying socialite, Jasmine and her common-law husband, who is the son of the billionaire Michael Ashcroft, met and lived in Belize.

Jasmine tells us of how she dreamed of having an idyllic life in Belize after growing up less fortunate in Canada.

She and Andrew Ashcroft were raising twins in a royal and lavish lifestyle when Jasmine ended up on a dock late at night with a well known and highly regarded top police official, Henry Jemmott, in circumstances that should absolutely raise questions for you.

Henry Jemmott ended up dead with a bullet behind his ear that night.

In the totality of Jasmine’s story, there are are so many red flags, it’s painful. Add to it that she has changed her story. Her first version was she didn’t do it — a boat drove by and the bullet hit him. Later, she owns it and says it was an accident.

And of course there is a gun expert at the end of the 48 Hour show, too. Did he make you second guess yourself?

Jasmine lacks normal emotions throughout her entire recounting of what happened to her yet when you watch her talk about losing her children, it’s amazing, she has real emotions.

The contrast of the two should flag you.

Why does she have emotions about losing her children, but not about the killing of a “friend” Henry Jemmott?

Furthermore, when she talks about going on the pier that night with Henry, she says to him why are you bringing your gun?

This stands out to me notably. Most law enforcement carry a weapon all the time. If she was his friend, she would have known this, right? Why does she make it a notable point here? Is she trying to create a story? A story that isn’t logical?

Why is a women, and mother in a committed relationship on a dock at 12:45 a.m. with another man–drinking no less? And found to have cocaine in her possession, which she won’t admit to it being hers.

Jasmine herself says, “I think a lot of people misjudge me… they don’t see my wholesome side.” That should jump out you. People don’t see the Jasmine that Jasmine wants you to see. Hmmm. Very telling!

Jasmine tries to tell us a senior police official was giving her gun lessons in the dark, on a pier, while drinking at 12:45 a.m. That should jump out at you like a bolt of lightening!

While I know nothing of the Belize police force and their reputation, Jemmott had a good reputation. Is this behavior consistent with her story? It isn’t.

What trained firearms expert is going to give a woman gun lessons in the dark after drinking in the middle of the night? None that I have known.

Most law enforcement I have known have incredible respect for their weapon, and the safety measures they need to take. They also know if they are careless with a gun, it can jeopardize their job in most places (I am not in expert in Belize culture, but I suspect it is the same there–this is a life/death safety issue regardless).

I do not believe Henry Jemmott behaved as reckless as Jasmine is painting him here. His reputation was solid.

Worse, Jasmine’s account of the gun going off and subsequent events seems completely abnormal. She says…

“So, the shot went off and he fell on top of me. And all I could feel was warmth. And I later then realized — he was bleeding on me. I was shaking him. … I didn’t know what to do. … As I’m trying to wiggle my way free to render aid, his body was slipping into the water from the dock.I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if he was dead.”

Her friend was found by police, not on the dock, but in the water. In the water. Is that how you treat a friend you accidentially shot? Come on, Jasmine!

Her statement is loaded with red flags. One after another. Do you see them? I will share more in the comments below in the coming days! Feel free to share the hot spots you saw too. I couldn’t possibly address them them all.

Do I believe Jasmine Hartin’s story? I do not. I do not know what happened that night precisely — that would require further analysis, but I do know it’s NOT what Hartin wants us to believe!!