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by Eyes for Lies

suntimes print articleThe Chicago area blogger known as Eyes for Lies is an expert in deception detection. After testing more than 15,000 people, a University of San Francisco study identified only 50 people who can discern lies from the truth with great accuracy, and she is one of them. Scientists call these human lie detectors “truth wizards.” She examines high-profile criminal cases on her Web site, Here she applies her skills to Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi and their vituperative joint interview that aired Monday on “The Bachelorette.”

Who is surprised at the breakup of Jake and Vienna from “The Bachelor”? In the history of the show, I can’t recall a single couple that was more incompatible than this one. Like the gulf spill, when you mix oil and water, the only result we would expect is precisely what we have here: a disaster. Outside of their polarity, the horrific relationship fallout boils down to he-said-she-said — a classic case of a war of words. While there are some emotional clues from these two as to what the truth is, it’s their words that reveal the real story behind this blowout. We must keep in mind, however, that this imbroglio was surely edited heavily, so we aren’t seeing the entire argument as it happened, but we can rely on what we hear Jake and Vienna say.

As I see it, there are three types of people when it comes to processing information. There are people who act purely on emotion. There are those who run strictly on logic, and then there are those who run with a combination of both.

There is no doubt about Jake: He is a man of logic. He is not an overly emotional guy, and the passengers who fly on his commercial plane rides can thank God for that. Would you want an emotional pilot? Had Vienna realized this, she might have known Jake wasn’t going to be overly affectionate. It’s just not his nature.

Vienna, in contrast, lets her heart dictate her actions. She wears her emotions on her sleeve. Her logic gets overruled consistently by her emotional needs, which rule supreme in her world. As she told Jake early on, she ran off and got married when she was 17 to a man she barely knew because she was heartbroken that her ex-boyfriend got married one month after they split up. Jake failed to realize that Vienna lives heavily in an emotional world, as opposed to his logical one.

These two are clearly on different planes when approaching and maintaining a relationship. Sadly, however, emotional people have the hardest time identifying, deciphering and living with the truth because their emotions don’t let them, and this doesn’t bode well for Vienna.

Listen to the way Vienna answers host Chris Harrison’s question, “What was it like at home?” after Vienna says the only displays of affection she got were on the red carpet. Poor Vienna rips at your heartstrings when she says it was lonely. You see this sad, vulnerable little girl come out. I absolutely believe her when she says this. She needs constant reassurance from Jake that she was the center of his world.

Jake, however, is the type of guy who expects you believe him when he tells you he loves you. He doesn’t feel the need to constantly reassure his partner, because he has logically and verbally confirmed his feelings.

Asked about her claims of abuse, Vienna responds, “I said emotional abuse. Yeah.” Chris questions her further, “Anger issues?” Vienna responds, “He’s got a little bit of a temper, but I wouldn’t say [laughter] he is dangerous or anything.”

If Vienna truly felt like a victim of abuse, she wouldn’t lightheartedly laugh as she says this. It’s flat-out inconsistent. Instead she would be visibly upset, but we don’t see that. Vienna’s emotions aren’t supporting her claims.

The conversation turns to why Vienna sold her story to a tabloid, and Jake’s raw emotions finally come out in a controlled manner, which we hear by the tension in his voice and the speed at which he speaks. “I’m so mad at you,” he says. “I’m so disgusted with you. You sold me out to a magazine for payment and then flirted with me all weekend.”

Vienna retorts, “I didn’t even see you all weekend.” to which Jake replies confidently, “That’s OK, I have text messages [as proof].”

Vienna gets so rattled that she might be publicly outed by her text messages, she gets totally confused and says strangely to Jake, “You flirted with me all weekend?” I suspect Jake does have some flirty text messages, just as he says, and Vienna knows it.

Later Vienna complains about the couple’s lack of intimacy. Jake eventually gets to reply, after being derailed by Vienna multiple times, “What guy in America would ever want to be intimate with a woman who undermines him, emasculates and doesn’t respect him?” For a logical man, not able to get a word in edgewise, Vienna became a complete turnoff. I don’t think this has anything to do with Jake being gay, a question that has been endlessly speculated online.

Jake is clearly over Vienna. He has no more emotional interest in her whatsoever, though he is clearly hurt by her actions, and he is clearly angry he has to deal with this mess in such a public fashion.

These two lovebirds had eyes initially for each other. There were genuine sparks between them, but neither realized they were oil and water from the start, a disaster waiting to happen, and now the flames are still burning among the wreckage. I suspect Vienna’s flames could be rekindled, but Jake’s have been permanently extinguished.