Body Language
Heading to see the doctor, I was in a new area that I wasn’t familiar with. Whenever I go anywhere I don’t know, I think it is automatic that I go into high-alert mode. I think I do it without consciously thinking of it. I push my shoulders back, put my head up high, and scan my surroundings. I want to see where people are, and who is focused intently, and on what.
I’ve never done it consciously and probably wouldn’t have been aware of it until I had my husband beside me when we went to visit the doctor in downtown Chicago this week. We were walking down the street because I wanted to show him something I had seen before, and as we started walking to our destination–someone caught my eye. It was a person who was opportunistic, without question–not that he was going to act, but he would if the situation was right. He caught my attention as he normally would, but when I glanced at my husband to see if he was paying attention, I was shocked at what I saw.
My ever-so-sweet and caring husband was truly worried about me and the doctor visit. He was caring my bulky radiology films, and when I looked at him, his shoulders were slumped over. He was leaning forward in his steps, and he was staring at the ground as he continued forward. He was also truly oblivious to anyone or anything around him. I suspect that unpleasant thoughts of surgery were spinning through his head.
As the guy who concerned me passed us and started walking in front of us, I tapped my husband on his shoulder and said, “Hang back a bit” so the guy ahead of us got distance.
“Didn’t you pick up on him?” I said pointing to the guy gaining distance ahead of us.
My husband who is very intelligent and a beautiful man looked at me oblivious.
I said, “He was looking at us. Didn’t you see it? You are screaming target! Target! Look at your shoulders and how they slump over. You weren’t aware of anything around you, were you?”
He admitted he wasn’t. He was lost deep in thought, though he never told me so. It was then that I encouraged him for both of our safety to stiffen up, and to become aware of his surroundings. He tried, but didn’t pass the sniff test for me, but I let it go.
I tried to tell him that he needed to be more aware of what he was communicating with his body–that he gave the perfect vibe to be a candidate for a mugging. He told me he never worried about it–after all, he is a guy.
But he should!! My dad was mugged several times and my husband and dad are very much alike — and suddenly I could understand why my dad was a target!
As we walked, I said to him don’t you pick up on this stuff at all?
He replied that he does to some degree, but not like me. As we continued to walk, I gave him an earful.
“That guy there? Artistic, out of the box thinker, but he can be unpredictable. “This one….” Oh, wait, that’s the same opportunistic guy we saw earlier. As I said that, I had my camera in my hand as I taking a picture, and the man looked right at my camera, and then straight down to my purse as he approached us head-on.”
This time my husband spotted the guy.
Are you aware of what you are communicating?
