My Thoughts: Raven Abaroa - Renee Ellory

When I watch Raven Abaroa speak here about his wife’s murder, these are my thoughts:

I am immediately struck by his demeanor as he recalls what most people would assume is the worst day of his life. He is happy, and grins as he talks about his last night with his wife. If you didn’t know any better, by simply watching him in the beginning, you’d think he was describing a typical day in his life. This is a notable red flag for me. Where is this guy’s emotions? Wasn’t this day, the day his wife was murdered, horribly painful? How come we don’t see any of that pain? Or was it not painful for him?
I find it strange how Abaroa doesn’t remember what they had for dinner that night, yet he says, “We quickly had to prepare a meal.” Most people, whose spouse gets murdered, and who are victims, relive the last hours they had spent together over and over, and even decades later will tell you exactly what they shared as a last meal, what they wore, exactly what they did in their last hours, etc. The emotions of such a painful event sear the memories in their brain forever. For Abaroa, to not remember this, is strange to me.
Abaroa keeps saying “maybe” as he describes the events of the evening, as if he doesn’t remember. He says, “…maybe preparing some of the stuff that needed to be prepared for lunch the next day.” What? Why doesn’t he remember? Why is he using a hedge word like “maybe” here?
Did you hear how Abaroa uses the word “tomorrow”? He is recollecting what the they were going to do the next day (the day after she was murdered). This is very unusual wording for someone recollecting something. I would have expected him to say “what we were going to do the next day.” How many times do you use the word “tomorrow” when talking about past events?
Abaroa’s demeanor takes a notable change around time marker 1:30. He talks about Janet folding clothes, “So, she put him to bed and was folding clothes, at that time…”
Abaroa gets incredibly nervous here. His demeanor changes, notably. If only I could ask why… Then out of the blue, he asks if his microphone is working, laughs genuinely, and asks if he should start over from the beginning. His deep laughter is amazingly odd. I’d wonder if there was truly a microphone issue at this point, or if he freaked out thinking about the events of that night, and wanted to start over. This would be intriguing to know. He admits he got “side tracked”.
I find it interesting once the conversation starts again, that he starts talking about the TV shows Janet liked. He suddenly stops recalling the night and starts just talking about elements of their life. It’s notable. Why does he do this? Is he trying to relax? Is this a key time in that evening where things could have gone wrong?
Abaroa tells us that he is very controlling by saying that he has to have not only his clothes put away just so, but also Kaiden’s clothing. This intrigues me. He continues getting side tracked again and again, instead of telling us what happened. Why? Why can’t he give us a detailed account? I can’t help but wonder if any of this happened the way Abaroa is telling us. The most important element is, of course, what happened to his wife. As a victim of violence, like murder, I would think that he would have a need to talk about it, to get justice, to tell his story… but he kepts going off on tangents. It’s odd.
It’s also very notable how he tries to act happy, but to me, I keep seeing hints of nervousness. People are usually not happy and nervous at the same time. This is unusual, unless they are excited about something.
When Abaroa says, “We share that moment that evening…” (approximately time marker 4:50) his demeanor changes again, like it did earlier. Why is he nervous recollecting the time spent around the laundry? Why does he keep swallowing more and more? It’s like when he talks about this time, he gets really freaked out, over and over again.
Then Abaroa strangely skips all the details and goes into, “and um…then when everything was said and done, and she was ready for bed, and I was ready to call it quits and go to my soccer game, she would usually watch episode of General Hospital, uh, before she went to bed. She would record it every day. She was a die-hard General Hospital fan and uh, um so she gave me a hug and kiss, and we snuggled for a little while, and she um, she told me, ‘You have too much to do, you should stay home tonight, stay with me.’ And you know, looking back at it now, that really…is something that bothers me…about the last night that I got to be with my wife is that, you know that I felt like she knew better and that she knew that I needed to be home night (contempt expression), and I didn’t listen to her, and you know…”
Why would he feel contempt here? Notice the pauses in his speech? The stops and starts? It’s suggestive he is thinking on his feet, not talking from actual memory. Perhaps he is remembering another time they spent together?
If you listen to his voice here, too, it quivers. I also find it interesting how he goes back to folding the laundry again. Why does he go back to that? Did Janet want him to stay home and he didn’t want to, and that is where everything could have begun? I tend to suspect so…
Abaroa says, “I got home, and…umm…….you know, go upstairs…wha…I’d always go in and gave Kaiden a kiss. You know, I don’t want to say I was checking in on him, but, you know, I just kind of go in and give him a kiss and feel his warm body (expression of disgust) and…………and that’s a……., you know, that’s when I found out something wasn’t wrong.”
Why is Abaroa so nervous right here that he can’t talk correctly? Something “wasn’t wrong?” What does that mean?? This is very strange! He is also not crying. He is more jittery than anything, if you want my opinion: Like he is shaking from the inside out.
Notice the lack of details here as well? Why are they missing? The words “kind of” are odd. They are hedge words…words that are said when someone wants to say something affirmative, but doesn’t manage to pull it off, because they know it isn’t the truth.
I find it fascinating how he says, “Janet died that night.” Why can’t he say she was MURDERED? If he has nothing to do with this, he should feel violated and want to catch the person who violated his world, and killed his wife.
Is he sanitizing the act here? Why would he want to do that unless he was involved? This is a huge red flag for me. See time marker 7:40.
When Abaroa says “Janet died that night”, it’s haunting. There are no tears. Instead, there is a flash of a smile just before he talks!!! It’s chilling. He keeps trying to fight it, too, after he speaks as well by pulling his lips outward. He can’t contain it!!Then he says, “I wasn’t there that night” and I sense he smiles then, too. He is displaying a sense of satisfaction when he says this that I can’t explain.
Notice how his story doesn’t make sense? He realizes things are wrong when he is with the baby? He doesn’t talk about finding Janet first, but he knows? The details are all eerily missing. The events are out of place. Things don’t make sense, and there is always a reason for this.
He tells us, “I couldn’t remember, you know, what I needed to do, how I needed to help her. ” What? How many victims do you hear say this? This is crazy babble, if you want my opinion. This guy’s emotions do NOT match what he is telling us at all!!
He goes on and says, “This isn’t real. This isn’t happening me” and there is another detectable smile!! Why on earth would this make him feel good?
Abaroa says, “And as far as what happened after that, it seems like the fire department was there in two seconds.” This is shocking. How many times have you faced an emergency or crisis in your life where time flew by instead of stood still? Pain causes minutes to turn to hours. Victims who find a deceased loved one always talk about how it seemed like forever until help arrived. How come for him it was instantly? Why doesn’t he talk about calling 911 or giving us these details? Abaroa gives us this lame excuse he doesn’t want to talk about it. I’m not buying it. I think it is a convenient excuse.

Abaroa continually flashes positive emotions when he talks about that night. There are too many to note. It’s very contradictory to his message. I can conclusively say in this video, I do not trust much of what Abaroa says to be the truth. I suspect he knows a lot more than he is telling us…

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