Stern Video Review

There is a new interview with Larry Birkhead out today on MSNBC where Birkhead talks about Dannielynn. Click here to see it.

I think the video is worth watching because Larry Birkhead shows deep and true emotions. He is being honest in this entire video and he deeply, honestly and truly believes Dannielynn is his baby. You can trust everything Birkhead says in this video as it truly represents what Birkhead believes to be true. If you want me to pinpoint why, ask me and I’ll point it out.

Back on October 4, 2006, I believed Birkhead when most people thought he was just out for money and Howard Stern was the father. Now, thankfully, people are seeing through Howard Stern.

While I cannot be 100% because affairs to happen, I still stand behind what I said on October 4th that it is a 90% that Birkhead is the father and 10% that Stern (or another suitor) is the father.

Here is the video of Howard Stern when he says he is the father of Dannielynn on the Larry King Live show. I’ll explain why I don’t believe Stern:

King: Why has Anna Nicole been so secretive about who the real father of her new daughter is?

Stern: Well, um, (sigh/awkward swallow/frustrated face).… I’m going to tell you that right now. Uh, Anna and I have um…been in a relationship and we love each other and its been going on for a very long time and ah…because of my uh…relationship as her lawyer..uh…we felt that it was best to… keep everything uh…hidden. And we’ve actually done a pretty good job of that (awkward swallow).

King: You sure have. So, you are the father?

Stern: Yes, sir. (Awkward swallow again! Notice the lack of conviction in his response and in his head shake?)

King: Have there been any DNA tests taken…?

Stern: Proud father. (Awkward swallow again!)

King: Were DNA tests taken?

Stern: Well based on…based on the timing of a when the baby was born, ah, there really is no doubt in either of our minds (Awkward swallow again. Notice Stern avoids answering the question directly).

King: Did Daniel know you were the father?

Stern: He did. He did.

Here are the red flags:

  1. Before Stern even starts talking to King, notice how he swallows awkwardly. Sometimes when people lie, they salivate more than usual and I don’t know why. Not all people do this – just some. When they salivate more — they are forced to swallow more — and in this interview, we clearly see Stern swallowing awkwardly — repeatedly. He does it over and over again — which is unusual. Once, we can over look it. Twice, we can let it go. Repeatedly, it becomes questionable. Why is he salivating so much? This become a red flag.
  2. Furthermore, before Stern answers the first question and after he says “well, um” notice the frustrated face he makes. He is frustrated because I believe he doesn’t have an answer in his head – and he has to come up with one. If you are answering honestly, why would you be frustrated?? Another red flag.
  3. Stern’s tone of voice is without emotion of any kind. Why? It’s monotone, abnormally so. He talks drone-like. Is he trying to conceal his true emotions? Wouldn’t he be happy if he truly were the father? Wouldn’t we see proud moments in his eyes like we see in Birkhead’s interview?
  4. Stern gives clues that he is thinking up his answers as he goes. He wasn’t prepared for the questions.
    • He pauses frequently and at odd times.
    • He struggles for words and hence uses lots of “um and ah’s”.
    • He doesn’t answer the question(s) right off the bat or directly when the answer requires more than a yes or a no– which he likely would if he were honest.
      • When King asks Stern why Anna has been so secretive about who the father is — if he were honest, I believe he would have said something much more simple like “Because I was her attorney. We felt it was a conflict of interest.” Instead, Stern rambles on and on — as I suspect he was trying to come up with a reply instead of answering truthfully.

Please don’t assume because you see these mannerisms in someone– that they are lying. There is much more to this than meets the eye! I take into consideration many, many more things then I write about. These are only the surface clues.

Emotional Overdrive

I planned a get together for some friends this weekend. I was really looking forward to it, wanted to make sure everyone had fun, and enjoyed themselves.

We met up with eight friends (four more of which had to cancel due to the nasty flu that is going around) and we enjoyed some casual yet great home-style Mexican food. After that, we went to a local pub, had a drink and headed to our reserved lanes at the bowling alley to try something new: cosmic bowling. Have you tried it?

Cosmic bowling is when they turn the lights down low, add a fluoresces to things, put on spinning lights with cool designs that spatter the floor and walls, and turn up some hip music. The funny thing was our nearly 40 crowd didn’t recognize any of the “hip” music! That dated us LOL.

But the irony of the whole experience was I so wanted to make sure everyone was enjoying themselves and when I tried to read them — I was flat stone-walled by my own abilities. My lie”dar” — which is also a great people reader — flat wouldn’t register other people’s true emotions. It fuzzed over, hazed and wouldn’t give a read!! I found myself relying on face-value judgments which left me in the dark, frustrated and like a blind man trying to see without his glasses. No amount of scrutinizing brought a clearer image!

At times, I would spot a genuine smile — and I knew for that instant someone was having fun — say when they bowled a strike — but that didn’t tell me if they were really having fun all evening.

I half-expected this would happen. I’ve learned over the years that if I am emotionally-invested in an outcome of something, my abilities wane, dramatically. Realistically, my emotions override my logical abilities and I am unable to differentiate between my emotional desires and the true outcome — and I second guess myself. I have doubts and I am not sure what I am seeing. When we, me or anyone is emotional — your ability to see things clearly is not dependable.

I think I’ve become hyper-aware of my emotions and I realize when they kick in. We all have this emotional overdrive (which hits us at varying degrees depending on the circumstances)– I just don’t know how many people are aware of it and explain it like I do.

There are times when my emotional overdrive kicks in and I AM able to consciously work to shut it down and focus on the true logic at hand. I can do it– but it takes time and LOTS of effort. And frankly, Saturday night I wanted to have fun so I let things be. I floated along in the fog of wonder!

So when the lie detector most wants to know something personal — affecting her — for which she is emotionally invested — guess what? There are times when I am just like the rest of the world! I must rely on face value emotions. Boy do I hate that! I feel so handicapped.

I did have one of our friends in the car on the way home with us — who is way better than average at reading people — so I spilled my guts to him — and got his take. He was certain everyone had a good time and would do it again. I’ll just have to trust him and take his word for it.

I hate when that happens…

Are you aware of your emotional overdrive short-circuiting your logic?

Spot the Fake Smile

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You’ve landed on the blog of a “natural”

as depicted in the show “Lie to Me”
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Take a test!

Test your skills. See if you can spot a fake smile!

It’s a challenging test.

* * *

I scored 15 out of 20 correct.

What did you score?

Detecting Lies: Three Categories

Here is some mad science from my head!

I’ve realized that when I am reading someone as to whether or not they are telling the truth, I quickly categorize them into one of three categories within seconds:

Positive
Negative
Neutral

Positive people are those who immediately convince me they are trustworthy. It’s because their expressions are so genuine, or their actions, words or overall demeanor are very sincere. There is instantly no doubt about it: they are telling the truth. You just know they are being honest.

Most often, I don’t even have to listen to what positive people are saying, because their facial expressions are a dead giveaway: They are overflowing with emotion. It’s the sincere overflow of emotions that lead me to this conclusion.
Tom Cruise, with regard to the Katie Holmes engagement, is one person right now that comes to mind who is overflowing with genuine emotion. You can just watch his facial expressions and know that he is telling the truth, without even listening to what he has to say. Try lying and making those facial expressions with his enthusiasm: You can’t do it, no matter how hard you try.

The opposite of positive is, of course, negative. Negative people do things that instantly tell me they are lying. From telling stories that don’t make sense, to awkward speech patterns, to inappropriate facial expressions that contradict their story, to endless stuttering. They give instant clues that they are being deceptive. Most often, though not always, it is the emotions on their face that tell their story first.
The next type of person is a neutral person. These people are hardest to read, because these people don’t express a lot of emotion. Neutral people tend to lack genuine enthusiasm, and most often come across as someone who is not excitable. They usually come across as mundane and monotone.
While the majority of people who fall into the neutral category are suspicious, it does not mean that they are lying. And that is where it gets tricky. Some people just lack normal expressive emotions and instead are subdued, even when they are telling the truth.
When I realize I have categorized someone in the neutral category, I really have to focus to get to the truth, and it doesn’t always come quickly like it does with positive and negative people—it takes minutes rather than seconds (or even longer!). Listening to their story becomes imperative. With a rare few, sometimes I am not able to discern the truth, and I have to give it up until more information presents itself.

Neutral people who are liars are usually psychopaths.

What makes it even more tricky is that some psychopaths who are lying give off emotional indications that are supportive to their story, even though they are lying. You have to see this in action to understand it. They even make facial expressions that are consistent with what they are saying. It’s twisted and hard to explain until you can experience it.

What usually gives away that a neutral person or a pathological person is lying is that the actual events of their situation aren’t logical. These people stretch the truth, play on the “what-ifs” and the could-be-possible-odds too many times for reality to be present. When you add up all the usual bits to their story, the odds become one-in-a-million, or statistically very, very unlikely. That, combined with other subtle hints, all add up to give away a neutral or pathological liar.

Also, it is common for liars to dull their emotional responses and try to play neutral, but these liars are actually not true neutrals. I’ll call them false neutrals. These people leak information differently than classic neutral liars: They flicker emotions and microexpressions, whereas the true neutral liar likely will not. One suspect that comes to mind who acts like this right now is Joran van der Sloot. Of course, I am not accusing him of lying. However, I just think his behavior is very suspicious.

A false neutral liar’s speech may become unnaturally slow as if someone taped them and played it back in slow motion. It’s rather odd, because when they speak the truth, their speech rate increases to normal or above, but when they lie, they suddenly slow their speech way down, or vice-versa. Again, a true neutral liar will not do this. He will be the same throughout the interview. He will not change or vary at all. He is highly controlled in his all of his responses, or flat out lacks emotions, which is notable.

Sadly, most people want to give others the benefit of the doubt, and that is how these neutral masters of deception get away with lying so frequently. That’s how pathological people kill successfully! That is how serial killers get away with their crimes for so long. People don’t add up the odds—they don’t put the intricate piece of the puzzle together.

Neutral people who are lying are usually pathological liars, though not all pathological liars are neutral.

Natural Law

I believe nature naturally rewards us for telling the truth. The more we tell it, and live by it, the more confident we become, and the more self-assured we are. When we are honest, we have nothing to hide which frees the mind and body. We can look in the mirror and be proud.

However, when we lie — we doubt ourselves because we distort the facts. We question our sanity, we distrust our own being as well as everyone around us. Lying errodes our confidence and puts us on a path of insecurity, doubt, fear and uncertainty.

It’s the law of nature.