Bill Cosby’s Leaks

Everyone knows Bill Cosby doesn’t want to speak or address the accusations made by 16 women.  And why would he?  Being silent has worked for him for decades.  Furthermore, we all know the more one speaks if he is guilty, the faster he will hang the noose around his neck. But even without Bill Cosby speaking very much, in the little he has spoken, he has shown very supportive behavioral evidence that he is quite capable of the accusations made.  Mind you, I have already seen two women speak out and believe them, and we can’t have both sides being honest, but I want to share what Bill Cosby is revealing and what it means.

Bill Cosby did an interview on November 6, 2014, with an Associated Press reporter (see above).  They released this video amidst allegations.   In this video, we see Cosby ask the reporter not to air his reply that he doesn’t want to speak about the accusations. That in and of itself says little.  However, it is HOW he broached the topic with the reporter that is very revealing and quite telling of the type of person the real Bill Cosby is.  Listen to what Bill Cosby says.

He says, “I know I didn’t say anything, but I’m asking your integrity that since I didn’t want to say anything, but I did answer you in terms of ‘I don’t want to say anything, of what value will it have?'”

The use of the word integrity here is stunning.

Bill Cosby, whose integrity is being questioned, is telling this reporter that essentially if he airs this video, he has no integrity.  That’s jaw dropping how he turns the tables.

The reporter never promised him anything and Cosby’s admits it, yet Cosby is twisting the facts and being extremely manipulative.  This action by Cosby says a ton about his personality and it is anything but “Huxtable” in quality.   Instead, he is skillfully trying to put his lack of credibility or integrity in question on this reporter!  This is jaw dropping and not the behavior of an ethical, honest or decent man.

If I witnessed this in person, my trust would be revoked for him immediately by these actions alone.

Cosby goes even further with this young reporter and says, “I think if you want to consider yourself to be serious that it will not appear anywhere.”

This is a threat in no simple terms.

Cosby is basically saying if you want to be a serious professional here, you better not do this.  He is implicating without saying it directly that he will make sure the guy is not taken as a serious reporter if he leaks it!  Why else would he say this?

The reporter did absolutely nothing wrong, and yet Cosby has leveled two serious attacks on him trying to implicate him as unethical and unprofessional if he doesn’t do what Cosby wants!  When the entire time it is Cosby who is being questioned for being unethical and unprofessional.  Cosby tries to the turn the tables with incredible ease!!  It’s flat out chilling. He is a man who is used to wielding extreme manipulation and control on people. I can assure you honest people with integrity would never speak like this to someone.  It is highly supportive that Cosby is everything he is being accused of and maybe more.

And that’s not all Cosby has revealed.

He told a reporter on Friday in Florida, “I know people are tired of me not saying anything, but a guy doesn’t have to answer to innuendos.”

This statement is hotter than a potato coming out of a brick oven!

If you are accused of being a serial rapist who drugged women, would you refer to this as “innuendos”?  I would bet my last dollar you would not.  You would flatly DENY the allegations, but Cosby has yet to deny anything. Ever.

You should take notice.

And instead of a flat out rejecting of the accusations, he softens them to the point of absurdity with the word “innuendos”.

Add to that he doesn’t even put himself in the equation.  He says “a guy”.  He does not talk in first person. It’s highly notable.

People who do harm to others in society often have a horrible time saying the things they’ve done, because its too close for them to utter the words. They are too hard to say if they are, in fact, guilty. Murderers will often say the person “died” or “disappeared” but cannot say murder or killed.  And here we have Cosby who can’t say “rape”, or even put himself in the same sentence.

So Cosby gives us really strong behavioral evidence that is supportive he is not honest.  We can clearly see that he is extremely manipulative and controlling, and lacks integrity to turn the tables so fast on an innocent reporter.  Now add that, you have 16 women coming forward who show no evidence that is contradictory to their stories, and tell me who you believe…

Think of all the innocent people you have seen in your life who were accused of a serious crime and who refused to speak.  How many can you think of?  I ask you, my readers, to try to think of people who refused to speak when accused of one or more serious crimes who turned up to be innocent.  Can you think of anyone?   I can’t think of one, but I am willing to try to find an example.

People will tell you who they are, if you just listen.

“Your actions speak so loudly, I can not hear what you are saying.”

–Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

The Liar’s Brain: Is it different?

Here is an older study, but a quite fascinating one that says skilled liars actually have more brain matter to help them lie.

What do you think? Do you think liars have a biological edge?

A&E: The Killer Speaks

Have you seen this show on A&E?

If not, its truly worth watching. However, I will warn you it is very chilling.

But you get to have a front row seat into the mind of a killer.

Some lie. And some tell the truth.

It’s endlessly fascinating!

If my time allows in the coming weeks, I will share my thoughts on the latest episode.

Predators Among Us

I think Joran Van der Sloot really brought to the forefront of our minds that predators live among us. When we go about every day life, its easy to forget this, but after a tragedy like the one that Natalee Holloway endured, and watching Joran Van der Sloot confess with such an iron-heart, and cold spirit, it brings the vulnerabilities up-close and personal.

After Joran’s confession, many people asked me how do we protect the young girls, and women in our society? How do we reduce the chances they will fall victim to someone like Joran?

People were troubled, and without answers on how to protect themselves, and while I am not an expert on this, I do think there are several things we can do to help ourselves reduce our risks.

Read moreWe are all given two great gifts in life, the gifts of intuition and instinct. It is just too few of us harness it’s power. We, as a society, I believe are so disconnected from ourselves today, that we rarely listen to what our intuitions, and instincts say to us.

While I haven’t had the opportunity to read the book yet, I have seen Gavin de Becker talk about his book The Gift of Fear, and I did read an excerpt. I think it is fabulous. Give this book to those you love, and read it yourself. I think that is a great starting point. Encourage people to start listening to their gut instincts, and intuition more. It’s a fabulous tool we all harness within ourselves.

The second thing that I think is important is to pick a news show, or two that you find valuable and trustworthy, and watch it to keep apprised of current events on a local, and national level. This is especially true if you have school-aged children. Set up a time, and watch the news together so you can discuss stories you see with them. While I wouldn’t alert them to any particular story, I would simply answer any questions that raise their curiosity naturally. Let them discover life at their own speed. Simply provide them with information, and guidance as needed.

The reason I believe news is important is because it brings up crimes, and stories which are true, that have happened, and will help your children realize the threats that exist in society. It also keeps you up to date on the newest scams, schemes and criminal activity in your neck of the woods so you don’t fall victim yourself.

Of course, as a parent, it’s our job to inform our children that the risks are remote, and not be to afraid, but that it is important to be cautious, not to trust strangers, go with people you don’t know, or even stay with those you do if they make you feel uncomfortable.

There is something very powerful about watching true stories, and seeing real victims speak about crimes. It has a lasting, powerful effect, and I can say it impacted my childhood positively.

When a man pulled up in a car with fliers about modeling when I was a young teenager, my friend ran right to the car to grab one. I yelled at her to move away, that she didn’t know this man as I had heard of this scam before. I still wonder if my vocal action, alertness and tense body stance scared off a would-be attacker. He knew if he did anything, I’d have his description and license plate in an instant.

Next, one of the biggest sayings of society that I absolutely detest is that saying that says “Respect your elders.” While I am sure it was well intended, it has some devastating consequences. Children are lead to believe that they need to respect all elders no mater what. Those they know, and those they don’t know. This is very scary. Not all elders deserve respect. Period. Clearly, the man passing out fliers from his car didn’t deserve respect, did he?

My mother gave me the freedom as a young child to judge who did, and who did not deserved my respect in my world, and I believe this advice, and her confidence in me, actually saved me from several situations that could have turned devastating. If I didn’t have the confidence to disrespect elders, and stand my ground, I can think of several predators now looking back at my childhood who would have taken advantage of me. But because I was given the gift to think for myself, to judge people with my own instincts, I escaped while others I knew weren’t so lucky.

I can’t say it enough. We need to give our children the freedom to trust their own judgments, and to make their own decisions when they are out in the world without us. If someone makes them feel uncomfortable, they should feel confident that it is okay to sternly, and even rudely say no, and to seek help from others. It’s okay to walk out of somewhere they are supposed to be if they feel unsafe.

And last, we all need to work on accepting that is okay to not always be nice to people. Predators play on the fact we’ve all been raised to be polite to people, and to be gracious when help is offered. Most adults have a hard time saying no to stranger when they are uncomfortable. It’s a difficult thing to do, but one that could ultimately cost someone their life.

We all need to practice saying no, standing up when we feel violated, uncomfortable or threatened. It’s okay to feel uncomfortable. Embrace it as your best warning that you need to act and act now.