Conversations

When I converse with people, some times I find myself putting on the other person’s shoes (so-to-speak). I instantaneously try to become that person in my mind’s eye (mostly with strangers). I try to think as if I were in the other person’s surroundings — as if I were the other person. I try to understand how I would think and feel, if I were them.

I try to listen to what I am saying as if I were the receiver — before I say it, when I say it and after I say it. I try to understand how what I am saying will come across and be perceived. I attempt to anticipate the emotional responses I will get too — to judge if I have connected to someone. Sometimes I anticipate a couple of responses because I am unsure and I wait for an outcome- not knowing what will come back at me.

Anticipating the response is something I’ve always done, yet something I’ve never set out to consciously do. It’s just who I am. It’s just what I do, innately.

For example, if I met a waitress, I would try to imagine what it would be like to be her. When I would speak to her, I would try to envision myself being a waitress — to try to understand what her perspective might be like, what her perceptions might be, what might influence her thoughts…

It isn’t that I am concerned about what others think about me. Nothing could be further from the truth. It’s more that I want to understand the other person — and relate to them in a way that we both can understand. I try to find a matching plane, so-to-speak — a commonality: More so, an understanding. I want to understand the other person I am conversing with.

Naturally, I don’t always get it right — but I never give up trying.

I think this innate inter-working of my being is what makes me know people so well. I don’t assume that people know or feel what I do. I am always trying to understand, experience and feel their world, instead.

Do you do this? Do you relate to this?