My Thoughts: Jennifer Mee

Jennifer Mee tells us that when she got all the national attention from having the hiccups, she let it all go to her head, and she “…just started doing what (she) wanted to do.”

Jennifer says, “I took the path of the devil, I really did, instead of keeping my faith with the lord. I let the devil overcome me.”  When she says this, she is truly sad. She is being completely honest here.

Jennifer says that she thinks of the victim everyday and it eats her alive.  I believe her, but when the reporter asks her if she feels responsible, she says, “I can’t tell you the truth because…ah.. I didn’t do anything wrong.”

She couldn’t be more honest,  “I can’t tell you the truth because …”  However, in the second half of that statement, she was improvising, if you want my opinion.  What I believe she really wanted to say was …because if I own it, I will implicate myself and I cannot accept that.

She smiles at that time because she knows her actions started that ball rolling, but doesn’t want to own it because she doesn’t feel she pulled the trigger. This is causing her to feel conflicting emotions.  Yes, she feels bad that she did what she did, but she feels that she never intended for murder to be the outcome.  She continues, “I’m not guilty of anything.”  Jennifer doesn’t want to take responsibility for her actions, sadly.

She first told police a false story,  if you want my opinion, and then she confessed to the truth–though Jennifer wants us to believe the second confession is false in hindsight.  I suspect that is because she got arrested on the truth.  The reporter says to Jennifer, “Why would you implicate yourself in a murder?”

Jennifer says, “From (shakes her head no), I don’t know.  It’s hard…it’s hard to explain.”

It’s hard to explain, if you want my opinion, because if she says the truth, it will implicate her again, so what can she say? It’s hard.  Absolutely.  She is stuck between a rock and a hard place and she knows it unless she wants to fess up and face prison time.  Not a nice place to be for a bad decision.

She continues, “I did, I thought I was quote unquote ‘famous’ so young nothing would happen to me so I went with a story that I wouldn’t get in trouble with, but in all reality it put me behind bars 5 months and I could be facing life.”

Jennifer says she “went with a story”…a story is usually not how one refers to the truth.  I think the story was the first version she gave and when they didn’t buy it, she confessed to the truth believing that would “free” her, but it backfired instead. Instead, Jennifer found the truth didn’t sit well. That’s a hard lesson because we are all told as children, the truth will set you free, but as you mature you realize that statement has a very different meaning.

Jennifer expresses sadness when she talks about her grandmother’s death.  She displays true oblique eyebrows, but we don’t see that any other time prior to this, ironically. Jennifer believes she contributed to her grandmother’s death because of her actions.  Jennifer knows she stepped way out of bounds, but like anyone, doesn’t want to sit behind bars for the rest of her life.

Jennifer says she doesn’t want to think that far ahead about the trial, because she is scared, and I believe her. She cries again, showing true sadness when thinking about her family.

Then she shows true sadness when the reporter reminds her that she will see the victim’s family in court and asks Jennifer to say something to the victim’s family.  She shows true and genuine sadness when she says, “I just want to say I am sorry for the loss of his cousin and that I wish it would have been different than how it proceeded out to be ‘cuz he didn’t deserve it. He didn’t.  He did not deserve to go.  He did not.”  You can feel and see Jennifer is truly sad about the murder.

While Jennifer smiles through parts of the interview, I do not see them as malicious or arrogant smiles.  They are more nervous in nature, and not arrogant in any way.

Jennifer, if you want my opinion knows she made horrible choices, but she keeps clinging to the belief she didn’t kill the man.  She didn’t pull the trigger.  She doesn’t want to accept that she lured this man into a lethal situation and her smiles show her turmoil, her confused emotions. To me, it is akin to her saying, “Yes, I did that, but I didn’t intend for this to happen…so I’m not guilty (yet she knows her actions led to murder).”

She also has a hard time reconciling the fact that when she told the truth, she was arrested.  The truth, we all believe should set us free, and when she was honest in my opinion, it did her more harm than good in the eyes of the law. It put her behind bars, and she doesn’t feel that is right.

Life can be oh-so-complicated. Jennifer Mee got a taste of stardom and that taste was very destructive for her, sadly.