Daily Thought: What divides us?

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This is a deeply thought-provoking video on why echo chambers breed loneliness.

That’s a mouthful, bear with me.

Dr. Brene Brown studies vulnerability, and she has some fascinating things to say. If you haven’t heard of her, she’s worth exploring.

I will share some of her videos with my thoughts in the coming weeks because my interest in human behavior and deception crossover with her studies of vulnerability and connection.

With our deeply divided nation right now, people are struggling more than ever to discern the truth, right?

I know many of you are craving better ways to determine truth from lies in your own life, because those in power are doing everything they can to confuse the public to keep their agendas on target decrying “fake news” and denying reality when it suits them.  The truth has lost its power, and corruption rules.   I’ve seen it on both sides of the isle, sadly.

In this video, Dr. Brown hits the nail on the head on precisely how to do this–how to spot the truth without a good lie detector. She does so indirectly, but she does it beautifully!

Dr. Brown gives you the best tool for this, and I can tell you it will guide you with clarity.

Most people believe if you aren’t on my side, you are my enemy, right?

And what do we when we think about them as “the enemy”?

We dehumanize them.

Brown’s message is so poignant and on target.

Dehumanizing them is literally breaking down society’s safety net as we know it.  Having compassion that we are all in this together, that we are all human, is what protects us as a civilized society. Denying any part of our society as less than human is literally breaking down the fabric of truth.

We are setting the stage for much more horrific atrocities, if this continues. We are at huge crossroad if we allow this to progress. History demonstrates this.

As a society, this is a cancer and we have to stop this.

What can YOU do to stop this incredibly dangerous tear in our fabric?

There are several things. First, it means taking a look at yourself.  In our fears and discomfort (which we are all feeling), we are prone to want to paint those who disagree with us as less than human.  It makes us feel SAFE! Right?

It’s your job to work at being aware of when you do this as we all will at times (be truthful to yourself).  When you do catch yourself, look at the other “people”, and instead of focusing on your differences, focus on your commonality–what do you have in common?

I can find many people who have different beliefs than me who share so much in common.

It’s okay to disagree with people, to have different values, it’s healthy for you, but look at the people as they are:  human, and try to find their beauty. We all bring something special to the table, if you look.

Second, when anyone in public (in your world or on TV), whether they are a politician or just a plain old person, speaks out with any dehumanizing behavior — NOTICE!  STOP!  PAY ATTENTION. And DO NOT support it!  Make your feelings known this is not acceptable behavior!

Dehumanizing people is your BIGGEST WARNING SIGN that the person doing so is dangerous. They are an absolute threat to democracy as you know it and the life you love.

For this behavior is your biggest litmus test to determine truth and lies.

A person who is willing to dehumanize another will NEVER acknowledge the truth–they are incapable of it on any level, and in that state of mind they are flat out dangerous!   This is precisely the stuff of world wars and genocides.

There are zero excuses for any human to dehumanize another — and that is your ethical measure to say stop the lies!!

I give you permission to say enough is enough!!!

I will not support or tolerate anyone who does that.  EVER.

It is unity, not division, that will heal our nation, and our world, and the only way we can do that is to see our enemy not as a threat, but as another human being where we need to build connection. For it is our disconnect that will ultimately bring us down as a society and as a people.

Angelika Graswald: A Free Woman

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ABC’s 20/20 did an updated story on Angelika Graswald this past weekend. She is out jail after serving 32 months. She pled guilty to reduced charges of criminally negligent homicide and was released just before Christmas 2017. She’s a free woman after only serving 32 months.

The case is fascinating because it polarized many people.

Many people found her credible, though the thought of that makes me cringe, like nails down a chalk board, cringe.

This case isn’t even in shades of gray. It is clear black and white.

Graswald shows every dangerous behavior known to mankind and anyone in her path should take deep care to protect themselves.

Remember how Jodi Arias played this sweet, innocent,  I-couldn’t-harm-a-flea demeanor?

These two are made of the same exact deadly cocktail of lethality.

I could write a 200-page book on Graswald’s behavior in this case.

My biggest piece of advice about this case?

When people tell you who they are, believe them.

Graswald told you she had a dark side that no one should ever see. That statement wasn’t coerced, or forced.

That was the stark, cold, hard, deadly truth!

Would you kill for love: Jens Soering on 20/20

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Did you catch ABC’s 20/20 last weekend?  It featured the story of Jens Soering and Elizabeth Haysom, and the murder of Elizabeth’s parents: Derek and Nancy Haysom in 1985.

The two oddly-coupled pair skipped the country after the killings and then confessed when apprehended in England.

Soering later said he didn’t do the killings. He said he stayed back while Elizabeth did it to create an alibi.

I found Soering very arrogant and he showed no signs of being a candidate for a false confession, instead everything he did convinced me he isn’t trustworthy.

These two were truly scary, callous and cold, weren’t they?

Decoding Body Language: Funny Video!

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This is a great video to watch in the study of body language.

As you can see immediately, this isn’t even filmed in an English speaking country, but as you watch, you will see that we all respond the same!  We are the same regardless of language, though culture can and does have influential affects on behavior and body language.

Watch this video as this man eats his ice cream cone in a very seductive way.

It’s fascinating to see how the people around him respond. It’s flat out hilarious!

Then watch the people’s expressions as the man gets up.

What emotional and physical responses do you see?  What do they indicate?  I will share comments with you in the comment section.

And last, was there a telltale give away that you could have picked up live in this situation that would give you a strong indicator the man wasn’t blind (my favorite part!) and that he was using the cane as a rouse?  Do you see it?

Have fun!!

And thanks to DK for sharing this video. I needed a really good laugh!

Nicole Eggert’s Accusation of Scott Baio

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Nicole Eggert came out on twitter to accuse Scott Biao of sexually molesting her back in 1986, and has now spoken out on the Today Show with Megyn Kelly.

Scott Biao also released a video on Facebook LIVE prior to this stating his side of the story.

Who do you believe?

When I watch Nicole Eggert, I am getting conflicting information from the story she is telling on the Today Show and it’s giving me pause.

What Eggert says in the interview is that Baio, as her boss during the time he was molesting her, told her by her account, “…you can’t tell anyone, this is illegal, I will go to jail…”

I cannot imagine a molester telling his young innocent victim, hey I’m doing something illegal to you. That blares at me like a beacon in the night as untrue.  If they were boyfriend and girlfriend, he may very well have said something like I could get in trouble for dating you. That would be feasible, but her story, as she is saying it flags me.

Also in the 1980s, there was no public culture of people speaking out about how it was illegal when someone touches you inappropriately. During that time, sexual molestation was hushed and rarely talked about from my memory. I do remember guys being afraid to date younger girls though and calling them “jail bait” (what do you remember?).

Later during the interview, Eggert says when asked by Kelly if she thought he was like a boyfriend, Eggert doesn’t answer the question.

She says, “There was a bit of…this person loves me, and I trust this person and he cares about me and I am safe.”  She then says it wasn’t until she “got a little bit older than she realized this was not love”.

Would you trust someone who is telling you they are doing something illegal to you and not to tell anyone?  It is possible a few people would, but the odds are statistically low percentage wise.  Her friends even gave her hesitation when she told them, right?

She then goes on to say is, “But what my truth is….is that I wasn’t ready to tell my story.”

My truth?  What about THE TRUTH?

If you notice when Kelly asks her if she was 18 when the show finished shooting, she doesn’t answer the question again.

Then Eggert says, “I always lied about it because I didn’t want anybody to know.”

Her responses are concerning for me.

I don’t find Eggert reliable in this interview, but it doesn’t mean I discredit her story in its entirety. I would have to talk to her more.  There is a possibility there are some grains of truth to it, but what those are at this point are speculation. Was she simply molested, and not raped as she claims?  Or is there another story?

My eyebrows are definitely raised. I am going to watch Scott Baio next.

What do you think?