Harmless Lies Mount Up

This is a fascinating story with a huge lesson.  Time and time again I hear women who ended up in bad relationships say, “I know he lied, but it was harmless.”  When people continually lie, it is one of the biggest warning signals you have that the person you are invested in a relationship, friend or otherwise, values themselves way more than you.  And when a person puts them first, watch out!  You will end up hurt, one way or another.

Lying repeatedly shows a lack of respect by the person who is lying and to the people being lied to. It will never end happily.  And if you stick around, it shows you don’t respect yourself either.  You should want more for your life!

It’s your number reason to boogie, folks.   I have always had a steadfast rule in personal intimate relationships.  If someone lies to me once, I’ll forgive them, if they are sincere and I truly believe their apology.  If they lie to me twice, its over.  It’s clear we didn’t learn from the first mistake and I am not going to repeat it again.

The only exclusion I have are friends who give me white lies when they cancel things, reschedule or are unable to be honest about their own shortcomings or difficulties, which have no bearing on me or other people.

Lies are not harmless when they continually repeat.  Remember that…

Study of Honesty: Norway Victims

This is a fascinating video of Norway victims after the horrible massacre there last week.  Watch their facial expressions.  What do you see?

Due to my busy schedule, I will be commenting with my replies in the comment section below.

Expression of the Day

Angry
By JelleS — Click on image to go to artist’s page.

What is today’s expression and what are the elements that tell you so?

Rabies Vaccination Records Deceptive?

Wee Westie's Nuclear Ball

Last week, I got a notice in the mail that said my dog was due for her rabies shot. I thought that was odd because we got her shots updated last summer, and I was under the impression it was a three-year shot. I have had some serious questions about my vet’s ethics lately, and so before I called, I decided to pull my records to double-check.

When I looked at the Certificate of Vaccination, I was surprised to see the date given and the expiration were only one year apart (not three).  Yet when I read further down, it said that it was a three year vaccine. That was certainly sloppy work at best.

I then decided to call the vet office, and ask when my dog’s vaccine was due to see what they would say.  She said, yes, it was due now. 

This bothered me.

I told the woman I had the certificate of vaccination and it said three years.  She said she had to check and that whatever my paper said didn’t matter–only her records mattered.  She knew I was upset.  She then came back on the line and confirmed that it was a three year vaccinate.

Do vets make documents like this on purpose to make extra money?  If you don’t keep records, which a lot of people don’t, they can earn a lot of extra money at the expense of our pets. I would bet I am a rarity to check the facts and call on this, at which point the vet can then say, “Oh yeah, its three” without repercussions.

I find this very disappointing.

I’ve seen several things at this vet lately that concern me and are red flags. One was my name was sold to Frontline and I received advertising from Frontline saying that it was from my vet.  It was clear my name was sold to that company–which disturbed me, too.  Plus, I had another incident that is to complex to write about here.  Three strikes and he’s out! Its time for a new vet!!

Avoiding Deception When Buying Cars

So many people fret buying a car because car salesman have a notorious reputation.  Most people will tell you they can’t trust a car salesman, and there is reason. Salesman have a historical and notorious reputation.  Just watch this Dateline NBC clip here.

When you walk into a dealership, the number one thing a salesman is looking for is a trusting individual.  The more trusting you show yourself to be, the more likely you will be targeted as a good candidate for higher pricing. So, you may wonder, how does a trust person act versus a non-trusting person?  Should you question the dealer about everything?

Absolutely not.

The one difference between the two is simple, and comes down to one element:  It’s having knowledge–being educated on the product you plan to buy. Are you surprised?

You don’t have to have eyes for lies.

If someone is trying to sell you something, the only way someone is going to take advantage of you if is you lack knowledge.  If you are educated on the product you wish to buy and the process of buying (which I am not going to talk about here), who can fool you?

Very few people, let me assure you.  As an expert in deception, I will tell you this is the 101 of buying a car or any product for the matter.

When I buy a car, the first thing I do is research what cars interest me. I learn about them.  I read about the options, features, models and their differences, reliability reports, safety tests, owners complaints for various years, and even recalls.  I want to know what potential problems I might face. Once I have this knowledge, I am ready to go to a dealership to test drive the vehicles I like.  At this point, I know what concerns I need to investigate. All cars have issues, I assure you.

If a salesman tries to tell me that a vehicle I am interest in is perfect, great, etc, I will immediately look at him with concern, and salesman pick up on this.  I also won’t hesitate to identify the problems I have found with their cars.  Be prepared, however, they will try to convince you there are no problems, but they are not your source for this information simply because their goal is to sell you a car, so they are never going to tell you information to cause you not to buy a car.  This is the second fundamental of buying cars or any product for the matter.

Which brings me to a third key element.  You don’t go to dealers for them to sell you a car.  You go to dealers for them to answer your questions (Can I test drive this/open the trunk, etc.) and for them to assist you to buy a car. There is a key difference.

I think many people will be surprised to see the recalls on cars. It’s very unnerving, and when you read owner complaints filed with the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, you often find repeating themes of issues–so you know these are not rare events.  Tip:  Don’t read the year you are looking at only — read back a few.  A good consumer can rule out cars simply on the basis of recalls.

One car manufacturer was on my list of cars to check out until I read their safety recalls, and I saw that they had a catastrophic failure with the cars frame rusting out.  The recall was good to see, but what shattered it for me was they were only recalling cars in the salt belt, where salt is applied to the road.  So if you live in a southern state, and move to a northern state where salt is applied, you could face a major disaster with your car and never know there was an issue. That failure could be life-threatening.  That destroyed my confidence in that manufacturer, even with some of their vehicles getting high reviews.  It speaks of the company behind the vehicle.

I am sad to report that in nearly every visit I make to a dealership, I often find I know more facts about the cars they are selling then they do. Towing capacity is one area that nearly every salesman I asked (at various dealerships) gave me inaccurate information.  When I retorted back that what I researched doesn’t jive with what they are telling me, they get notice I am not an easy target and most waffled in their answers at that point–clearly unsure of the answer.  In the same respect, salesman aren’t as anxious to work with a tough customer because you aren’t an easy sales, but that’s okay! Many never even call me when I request data, but I’m not there to make friends. I’ll just call another dealer.

Also, if a dealer tells you things–make him back it up.  If he says for example Toyota has fixed the problem, which one dealer told me, tell them to show you the literature that identifies the fix. Then investigate it yourself at another time. Is what the salesman saying true?  Can you find supporting data?  Does it make sense?  Are their a lot of owner complaints after the fix?  Many times you will find recalls do not adequately fix problems, simply because there are plenty of customer complaints that continue about the same issue after recalls. One car I looked at clearly has this issue.

Research. Research.  Research.

Once I settle on the car of my choice, I also don’t haggle with a dealer. What’s the point?  I want to know what a good price is.  Again, knowledge is key.  There are great websites that track sales data of cars, and show you what the average price paid for the vehicle you are looking at is nationally, regionally and locally. Dealers also say they offer special Internet pricing.  Sign up to receive that, but also visit other dealers in person and call around on the phone (sometimes prices are better in person than on the phone, other times they are better on the Internet than at the dealer).

Learn about holdbacks (profits dealers calculate in to each sales).  Then come up with the price you think is reasonable and you are willing to pay based on solid data, and contact dealers to see who is interested.  Your research of calling around for pricing will give you a high and low point of purchase. Work from that.

I often find by shopping around, prices can vary by as much as 10% or more.  This is an important step and why haggling has no purpose.

And if I had a good salesman along the way, I will always call him with my final purchase price after I have done all of my homework, to see if he can or wants to meet the final price I have come up, and I know I can get elsewhere.  If he can meet it, he can get the sale, but so far that has never happened.  That’s his loss, not mine.

Remember, when people sell products, they are in the business to sell, so you must do your homework. They are never going to give you information that will cause you to second guess a purchase. Ever.  Remember that and be educated, knowledge and informed, and you are on your way to getting a good deal!

Here are some good websites to help you with your purchase:

Auto Safety Data (IIHS and NHTSA, plus other important considerations)
http://www.informedforlife.org

NHTSA (has owner complaints and recall data for vehicles)
http://www.safercar.gov

US News Ranking and Reviews (provides great data on prices paid for cars in your area)
http://usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/cars-trucks/