Remember Shanesha Taylor?

In July, I wrote about Shanesha Taylor. She was a mom who left her two young children in the car when she went for a job interview in Arizona on an 83 degree day. People found her children and called for help. Shanesha was arrested.

When Shanesha’s mugshot got into the press, her tears caused a strong reaction from the public. People ended up donating more than $115K in donations (source). They believed Shanesha deserved a second chance and the prosecutor in this case gave it to her.

The court took her apology and desire for a second chance and said that she must deposit $60K into a trust fund account for the children by a certain date.

I didn’t believe Shanesha was sincere at all and wrote about it in July. You can read my thoughts here.

As suspected, Shanesha didn’t put any money aside for her kids, and when asked for show proof that she still had the funds, she was unable to do so.

She is now facing child abuse charges for leaving her kids unattended in the car, and will be tried in December!

I am all about giving people a second chance, but this woman was way to flippant in the media to deserve it, and I suspect prosecutors watched closely as well and weren’t about to let her slip through the cracks!

Dateline: Secret Lives

Did you catch Dateline this past weekend?   They profiled the story of Jennifer and Ganesh Ramsaran.  Jennifer went missing two weeks before Christmas in 2012.  Her body was found several months later along side the road.

I remember when this case was active and Ganesh was talking to the media. I found his interviews very challenging to review.  In one review, I wrote, “I see nothing positive or negative in this video upon which to draw conclusions outside of his “happy demeanor” which is odd.”  And another video I didn’t see any flags. I wasn’t comfortable saying I trusted him or distrusted him. I remained neutral on the sideline.  He was definitely a hard read in those media interviews he did, and I think he was challenging on Dateline, too.

Dateline gave us more footage of Ganesh, and I now have a strong opinion having watched him.

Before I share it with you, what did you think when you watched Ganesh?

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Roofing Quote: Can you spot what’s off?

Our roof is approaching 20 years in age, and doesn’t look like it is going to make it much longer. We started calling contractors, my husband and I, about eight weeks ago. It turns out this seasons roofers are hard to come by. You see in Chicagoland it rained all of June, and all the workers are behind with more work than have time to do before the freeze sets in. Most roofers that we called didn’t even call us back. But a few smart ones came out and said they could take the work next spring.

The first quote was abysmally high. I tossed it immediately. The second and only other quote that came in, well, it too was high too. I am convinced work is so abundant that they are quoting people high numbers now because, well, if it comes it, its a boon for them! I don’t think they care if they don’t get more contracts right now. Not lucky for me. That’s for sure!

Anyway, the second contractor sent out a nice looking young guy to quote us. He’s actually the owner I found out.

We had a nice conversation, but unfortunately when he came to do the quote, it was pouring rain. We ran from overhang to overhang and around the house, and he politely asked if he could come back another time. I was happy to oblige because I didn’t want him crawling on a steep wet roof, and he wasn’t any more anxious to take undue risks himself.

He came out again late last week to finally climb on the roof. He was friendly as always, grabbed his ladder and went to work. He measured, inspected, and measured some more. He spent about 15 minutes in total checking measurements. Then he kindly swept off some leaves from the an area that commonly collects them on the roof. Certainly a nice gesture.

When he climbed down the ladder, he said he needed about 15 more minutes to go do the calculations for the quote. He said he would quickly do them in his truck and bring them to me. I offered to meet him at his truck in 15 minutes. When we met, he pulled out his quote and we talked about it. He told me if I wanted different shingles, there would be an up charge and he priced the garage out separately for me as asked.

He then handed me the quote in a nice yellow folder with a sticker on top identifying his company. He was very professional, very approachable and likeable. We shook hands and he left.

I am putting a link to a quote here from another roofing company.  This is not the company who quoted me, but so you can see a quote. My quote for all important purposes looked identical to this.

Something felt off though, after he left, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

About an hour later, it hit me like a brick.

Can you tell what it is?

Christina Morris

Link to Video

Christina Morris went missing two months ago in Texas and the last person she was seen with was Enrique Arochi, an acquaintance, at 4 a.m. in a parking garage. Arochi says, “So we walked and we split and after I saw my car, I went to my car. I don’t know where she went, or if she went to her car. I just went to my car and left.” Arochi doesn’t remember parting words, or if Morris got to her car. This is certainly a red flag. Furthermore, he is very intensely focused and concentrating in this video so much so that you can’t miss it. Why does he feel he has to do that? Why isn’t he himself? He is absolutely deadpanning his emotions too, which is a flag. He shows no stress or any emotions, except a slight positive glow. I am troubled that he shows no concern whatsoever, or lack of regret that he didn’t walk her to her car or look after her. This video is enough to cause me to want to see more of Arochi. If anyone sees him talk again, please provide me with a link.

Are you a walking target?

Wherever you go in life, you are being watched by people whether you are aware of it or not. Most people are harmless, but statistics show us not all people are. Do you pay attention to your surroundings when you are out and about?  Or do you only do it when you are alone? When I walk on the street in some of the cities I train, I am amazed at how many people send off an unconscious message that they are a good target, if someone has bad intentions.

How do you send off a message that you are a good target?  There are hundreds of ways I can think of, and I couldn’t possibly explain them all to you, but most boil down to appearing soft: distracted, unsure, not confident, showing fear, unaware of one’s surroundings, talking on cell phone, reading a tablet, listening to iPod, staring at the ground or not orienting yourself to the movement around you for a period of time.  You get the idea.

When you are out in a public place, it is important to convey the message you are rock solid and confident, and aware of your surroundings. Never appear lost. If you are, step off the street and into a quiet business where you can ask a friendly looking clerk where to go.  Don’t stand out in the open and query people on the street. You are giving them free information and an invitation!

When I am alone and in an unfamiliar place, I also put on my game face.  I put my shoulder back, lock my purse lightly under my arm and body, stand tall and walk with purpose.  And I have a purpose! Touch me and I’ll draw more attention to me than you’ve seen in 10 years!  I guarantee you I will be screaming FIRE at the top of my lungs (thanks JJ Bittenbinder), and I want anyone who has bad intentions to see that, too. I am not a soft target!  Alert! Alert!   Be on notice, Mister!

I often will do a 360 when walking or I will look over my shoulder to survey who is behind me.  I will acknowledge with glances who is nearby and if I see someone threatening, I will either stop, pause and let them walk by, or I will stop in at a business for a minute to get in a better position behind the suspicious person!

I take notice of alleyways and recessed entrances, and if I am alone, I won’t walk close to those. I will purposefully position myself toward the center of openness. And if my gut screams that someone walking towards me looks ominous, I will trust it. I will cross the street, if possible or again, stop into a business for a second.  I trust my gut instinct implicitly.

Many times I walk, however, I don’t spot anyone who has any intention to do harm, but I do see it from time-to-time and more than most people.

And I have spotted quite a few people over the years  looking to target soft people in my presence. I have watched pick-pocketers try to hone in on my friends and family, and people I fear had the intent to cause havoc of some sort.  More often than not when I see it, I will say, “Hey stop a minute” to the people I am with, corral them with my arm to position their backs to a wall, and then look the would-be troublemaker in the eye and politely say “Go ahead” as in find your next target–this game’s over!  And when I debriefed the people I have been with, none of them saw what I saw, hence that is why they were a “soft target”.  And I am most amazed that 90% of the time the people in my company did not even notice my dramatic change in my behavior when I noticed someone sizing them up!  I often will do a 360, start glancing backwards more, or even start walking sideways to keep an eye on the situation as I continue my conversation in which I often get distracted and can’t continue.  That’s most surprising to me.

We can never be guaranteed we won’t be a victim, but we certainly can take steps to lower the odds. What steps do you take?