The Powers of Observation
The other night, my husband and I went out to dinner at my favorite sushi restaurant. We walked in the front door, and we were the only two guests in the entrance. There was a man behind the desk who looked up at us as we walked in. He was tall, slightly stocky, had sandy blond hair, and boyish features. I suspect he was in his mid-twenties.
Read moreWhen this man’s eyes met mine, I noticed he was startled. I thought it was odd. It’s rare to see someone startled when you walk into a restaurant. Then he grabbed some paperwork on the counter and shuffled it, but he didn’t look at it. He just took the papers and moved them from one hand to the other as he watched us approach.
Without a conscious thought, my brain kicked in and said to me, “He must be new!” before I could even rationalize all that just occurred in the seconds it took me to walk the 10 feet to the counter.
“Good evening,” he said. “How are you tonight?” He grabbed two menus and brought us to our seats. Once we were comfortable, he came back and introduced himself.
“Hi. I’m John. I’ll be your server today. Would you like the à la carte menu today?”
“Yes, actually we would. Thanks!” I replied back as he handed them to us.
He laughed. “You’re going to put me to the test today, aren’t you?” He cracked a slight smile.
For those of you who don’t eat sushi, eating à la carte is more complex and involved. You have to know the different fish, rolls and wraps, etc. Many people even order them by their Japanese name.
I couldn’t help but jump in. I said, “We are going to put you to the test, but don’t worry, we don’t bite. I promise. Are you new here?”
To no surprise of mine, he said, “Yes, this is my second day.”
We placed the order for our appetizers.
When the waiter left, I was dying to say to my husband, “I knew it!! I knew it!!! I knew he was new! It was written all over his face. Did you see it?? Did you see it??”
My husband, who thankfully allows me all the space to share everything I see, laughed and said, “No. I missed it. Sorry.” You could tell I was blind-siding him with this information out of nowhere!
It was a fascinating experience for me to pick up on such small nuances. I am becoming more consciously aware of how I process things subconsciously and instantaneously.
This man showed two emotions. His face expressed fear as we walked in. He was startled. I have no idea, if he showed it as a macro or micro expression, but he clearly expressed surprise. However, I am not sure how I registered the fear.
Did he express it on his face alone, or did I pick up on his body language (paper shuffling), or was it a combination of both? I have no idea because it all happened so fast that it became a blur once I started to put the pieces together. But it just amazes me how my brain connected those two emotions and knew instantly it meant that he had to be new. If I was asked to do that consciously, I think it would have taken me several minutes to come to that conclusion.
My subconscious brain comes to conclusions long before my conscious brain has even had time to analyze things. I’ve learned, however, if I can slow down what just happened, seconds after it happens, and go through it step-by-step, I can often learn from it. I can connect some of the dots consciously that I subconsciously put together without being aware of it. Does that make sense?
On a happy ending, the man was an excellent waiter. He has a bright future, if he keeps this as a career choice. He was top-notch, his timing was excellent and his service superb. I hope I calmed his nerves, because when we left, I told the owner right in front of him that his new employee was outstanding!