ABC The Bachelor: Clayton, Sarah and Empathy
If you caught the Bachelor last night, Clayton confronted one of the women on the show–questioning her sincerity to commit to marriage at the end of the season. It was a fascinating moment. When you look for people to trust, you want to see genuine emotions, which Sarah showed. And you also want to see your partner show a compassionate response to your genuine emotions–to know that they are also capable of genuine empathy and compassion, too. No one wants a partner void of empathy, right? That’s a high risk scenario!
With Clayton last night, he was emotionally stone-faced in response to Sarah’s heart-pouring response to his questions! I was in awe of it. It was glaring and obvious and jaw-dropping for me.
You can’t be quick jump to the conclusion that because he shows no emotions, he therefore has no empathy. I would want to see other supportive evidence first! Always! There are reasons why people have impairments that don’t mean they are cold-hearted!
Clayton may not have been able to read Sarah and could have been in deep in thought trying to dissect her sincerity. That is absolutely plausible. He does seem to struggle with the ability to read people if you’ve been watching the show. He actually shows somewhat of a handicap in this ability.
Even still, I would still expect some response to her genuine emotional display of sadness and her sincere vulnerability, but Clayton had no emotional (visible) response. He did express cognitive empathy after the ordeal, and I was glad to see that.
This could come from him having another medical issue such a mild form of autism as well. You need to absolutely consider there may be other causes to his inability to read or express emotion. Is it consistent throughout his other interactions with people?
If I were Sarah, or any of the girls on the show, going forward I would watch his emotional responses closely and see if I can understand his ability to empathize. And if it is reduced, what the reasoning may be for it? He may be able to provide some insight that isn’t public. Or he could give us a cold response, right? Wouldn’t you want to know?!
Time for a detective hat!
From the previews of the upcoming episodes, it appears that Clayton tells two women that he was intimate with them in front of each of the women–which again, makes you question him again. Why on earth would anyone do this? Is this a lack of empathy or difficulty in understanding the complexity of human relationships? The previews are mind-boggling.
I am always on the lookout for people who show low or no empathy–especially being a highly empathetic person. To be a highly empathetic person in a low or no empathy relationship–that’s painful and difficult at best!
I don’t have answers on Clayton and I may not get them, but I put this out for food for thought. Do you watch people’s interactions with others to see if they are empathetic? It’s actually important to do for your well-being and could even in some cases affect your safety!
My goal in 2022 is to help people understand others who pose risk to lie or cause harm to you. People low on empathy pose risk even if they don’t intention to at times. Understanding one’s ability to empathize is very important. Stay tuned! I’m going to be bringing my classes into the virtual world this year! Interested? Sign-up to get notified!