Seeing the Doctor

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Doctor Hand

I recently went to the doctor for a checkup and explained some of my concerns to my doctor.  I have been having some issues over the past few years, and do keep a regular check on my health because my grandmother likely had something similar.  She died at the age of 51.  We know she had cancer, but we just don’t know which one. We just know the region of origin.

My doctor came highly recommended to me by a handful of medical doctors I have seen over the years. She is intelligent, smart, witty and seems very knowledgeable. She is also given decent reviews by patients, so I felt like I was in good hands.

I’ve been unfortunately cursed with some benign tumors and they continue to grow slowly (which is not abnormal for the tumor type) so I keep getting them looked at to make sure they don’t turn into cancer.  The risk is very, very remote– but I also need to watch to make sure nothing else develops, either.

During my last visit, my doctor suddenly said we should remove them and a whole lot more!  She got me really scared by her words.  Her exact words were that they were growing too fast, and she was “concerned….very concerned.” Naturally, we had talked about my grandmother and her cancer again — so it was clear she was telling me she was concerned about cancer.  And her recommended?  Radical surgery immediately.

I walked out of the office stunned. I didn’t see that coming at all. It even took me a few minutes to understand what she was saying because she didn’t come right out and say it until I laid it on the table–“Is this what you are saying?”  She confirmed.

I was blind-sided and scared and freaked out. It didn’t help that after I left her office, I went out into the middle of a snowstorm, where the roads were slick and my nervous hands struggled to keep my car on the road.

And the power died as soon as I got home for 4 hours so I couldn’t do any research to understand more about what was going on.

At first, in my emotional fear, I believed her. Emotions are our biggest cloud to seeing the truth there is–for all human beings–and I am no exception.

As I calmed down over the evening, and I started thinking, by morning I could verbalize the holes in her approach.  She was telling me she was very concerned because my tumors had grown, and fast growing tumors could be cancer, but if I wanted a second opinion (which I told her I did), she told me to see this conservative doctor who would probably make a different recommendation all together because of his beliefs.

I realized if she truly believed I was on the cancer track as she so scared me, would she believe another doctor would take a different approach? A doctor who believed in Western medicine like herself?  That didn’t make sense to me because I wasn’t arguing with her, disagreeing or asking for any form of alternative treatments. It would be one thing if I wanted to see an Eastern medicine specialist, but I wasn’t.

She also never said to me, “I’m very concerned this could be cancer.”   She never outright said it.  She stopped short. She connected things by reference, but never actually said it.  This bothered me. She never gave me statistical probabilities, either.  That bothered me.

I have read up on vast amounts of literature the past few weeks and found she left out a lot of information/options/procedures/risk factors, and if I simply trusted what she told me, I would have been woefully mislead.  Her end diagnosis may be where I end up, but she didn’t take the prudent steps to ensure it was the right decision.

I’ve found out by ordering my medical records from her office that my tumors have not grown fast at all. They’ve actually slowed in their growth rate!!  The day I left her office in a panic, I asked her how many tumors I had now, because she said I had more than the last time.  She told me, “More than 5 — they stopped counting!”  My records show ONLY 3, with a possible forth.  And one could be 2, but there was no mention of five definitely, or that they stopped counting. This was another blatant lie!
 
I also discovered in her medical record of my visit that there was no mention of cancer whatsoever, or any concerns.  What she did was write down her notes as if I came in complaining and wanted a “solution”–and so she offered me options.  I couldn’t believe it.  Why do I still get surprised?  What she did was write down my concerns, but she took great liberty in grossly misrepresented them –making them much worse than what I said they were, which gives her the justification for recommending the surgery.  So what we discussed and what she actually wrote down were two entirely different conversations.

Also, during my exam, as we chatted, she asked me what I was up to lately and I told her about my training for law enforcement.  Guess what she wrote on her report?  That I worked for the FBI.  I never said that and you all know I do not work as a employee of the FBI.  Another inaccurate piece of information.  Her medical records hit me as “cover-your-ass” paperwork because it had nothing about our real visit in it!

In her report, she wrote about how she offered me all these different treatment options–for which she offered only 2 — and lied about one of the two.  She told me of two surgeries that were available, and only guided me towards one saying the other could not be done completely (where tumors would remain)–which is an outright lie!! It could be done completely and curatively but differently than she told me.  It would take a specialist surgeon to do it, however, and it wouldn’t be her! I don’t believe she had the skill.  She also wrote that she advised me of all the risks — which she advised me of none!

I can see if I took her to court (which I have no intention), I’d like look the nut job by her records. 

It was a very stressful and disappointing experience to say the least.

I went ahead and scheduled a consultation with a top-notch surgeon and expert in the area of my concern tomorrow at the University of Chicago.

I’m really nervous and scared because I don’t know where it is all going to go, but I need good and trustworthy answers.  This doctor has been given award after award and is highly regarded nationally, but this time, I’m well read, educated and ready to ask him 1000 questions, if need be.  No one is going to mislead me when it comes to my health!  I know all the potentials where this could go and I’m ready to get trustworthy answers. I want to know which option is best for me, and WHY.

If I don’t post for a few days, please understand why.  I’m going through a lot right now.

My Thoughts on Bruce Beresford-Redman

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In this interview, Bruce gives us a lot of inconsistencies when he speaks. I was amazed at how much he revealed in just the intro segment alone.

When Bruce says, “I did not kill my wife. I really didn’t” we actual see a flicker of positive emotion which instantly raises my eyebrows. Not only that, he is shrugging his shoulders and uses the word “really” which stands out to me in his denial. They weaken his denial considerably. He should be emphatic that he did not kill his wife, if he didn’t, but we don’t see a hint of that. Instead we see one contradictory clue after another.

I think this picture says it all. It was taken when he says, “I really didn’t.”  His shoulder is shrugging.

This snapshot of him speaking at this moment shows his lack of confidence without question, and it shows his positive emotion as well.  You can feel him almost pleading, “Do you believe me???”

 
Bruce continues, “At the time of our trip, we were getting along splendidly.”  The word “splendidly” immediately catches my eye.Watch him shrug his shoulders again as he speaks.

I certainly do not believe Bruce at all. I do believe Monica’s sister, without hesitation.

Bruce says,  “The next morning she wasn’t back and now I was really (shoulder shrug) nervous.”  This is interesting on two fronts.  He didn’t get “nervous” until morning?  And why would he get “nervous”?  I would expect worry, concern, or fear, but not nervousness.  But I believe Bruce was nervous that morning, ironically, but for different reasons. Also the word “now” stands out.  Wouldn’t you be distressed after your wife didn’t return after a couple of hours–especially if she didn’t have her cell phone?  Why would he suddenly become nervous in the morning?  Hmmm….

Watch Bruce’s shoulders when he said, “All of the sudden, everything that you know, everything that you love, everything that you care about sort of disappears.”

Every statement Bruce makes (and we’ve only seen less than a minute or two of him talking) leaks clues like a sieve. His last statement above is no exception.  “All of the sudden” stands out to me.  Monica’s disappearance didn’t develop all of the sudden by the account he tells us, which makes his words odd to me.  They stand out.

His story is that she went out shopping and never came back.  Most people would be thinking maybe their loved one got lost, got in trouble, etc and would be frantic trying to see if they could find them and help them.   The situation would develop over a few hours.  It wouldn’t be all of a sudden. But if Bruce killed her, it would be “all of the sudden”. 

I also noticed how he talks about everything he knew and loved suddenly disappeared.  Did you notice that he didn’t say “the woman I loved”?  He seems to be talking about things being gone–since he is in jail!

Bruce also says “sort of” disappear.  How do things “sort of” disappear?

What is the likelihood Monica would disappear out shopping for a day and her body would end up in the sewer on the property of the hotel where she was staying? I would think that would be remote. It’s not impossible, but remote, if you ask me.  I think of Monica being abducted by someone. The abductor isn’t  going to say hey where are you staying–let’s go there so people you are traveling with can identify us and hey, while I’m there, I’m going to dispose of your body.  That’s the last place on earth someone would bring Monica back to.  But if Bruce killed her, it was the most accessible way to dump her body as he didn’t have many options, did he?

As Bruce talks about Monica’s body being found, he says, “I sort of slumped.  I sort of collapsed…..I just…went…… kinda blank.”

Ouch! I don’t think that needs any explanation.

I do not believe a word out of Bruce’s mouth.  In the few short sentences he has said to date, not one has shown any consistency with what he wants us to believe.

My heart goes out to Monica’s family.

Country Club Murders: Ernie Sherer

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48 Hours profiled the murders of married couple Charlene and Ernest Scherer. Their son, Ernie, Jr. was looked at for their murder and was eventually tried and convicted. I believe the jury got it right.

Ernie leaked a lot of clues in the interviews I saw of him on the show. One of the more interesting ones was his head shake when he was asked by investigators, “Did you have any involvement in your parents’ death?” Watch Ernie. The investigator continues, “Did you hire anybody or pay anybody to kill your parents?” Ernie makes another interesting movement with his head, again.

For those of you who have attended my class, here is another example to hone your skills! Did you catch it?

Pharmaceuticals Test Drugs: What you Need to Know

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Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Dateline’s Chris Hansen did an outstanding investigation in to the FDA, pharmaceutical studies and drug tests on humans.  What he uncovered will make you shutter when you think of taking a prescription drug.  The drug companies who make these drugs, create and run their own studies to get FDA approval, and then more than 80% of them go to foreign countries to do drug trials — tests on human testing, yet less than 1% of them are reviewed by the FDA once they are complete.

Does that give you confidence in the FDA?  And the safety of our drugs?

Even worse, these companies test these drugs on the poorest of poor in India–paying them $150 per drug trial and the poorest of people sign-up to simply survive, and they sign-up for multiple drug trials at one time–which could be devastating not only for their health, but for us as well–as results will be skewed, if they are even accurate and truthful at all.

Since 2008, more than 1,500 people have died in India participating in drug trials.  Think about that next time you take a prescription drug.  Do you think this is fair and ethical?

Bruce Beresford-Redman: 48 Hours

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Bruce Redman spoke on out CBS 48 Hours last week.  Did you get a chance to see it?  It was an intriguing interview.

I do not believe Bruce is being honest with us.  He left a wake of clues in what he said. 

What clues did you see?