When I read Kari’s suicide note (shown in the post below) for the very first time, I was immediately struck by how short the note was, the lack of an explanation as to why she was committing suicide, the lack of feelings that would normally be expressed by a woman, and the statement “I just want to sleep for a while”.
The statement “I just want to sleep for a while” is a statement that you might hear if someone is in denial, or can’t face the consequences of what they are considering doing. It is something someone might say to another if they are contemplating suicide, but can’t face it, or say it.
If one is in denial about committing suicide, and acts on an impulse to kill themselves (like jump over a bridge), you won’t find a suicide note left behind because in their denial they wouldn’t be able to sit down, and write their good-byes.
Read moreBut if one leaves a note, we can be sure the person was well thought out in their decision to leave us, and had accepted the outcome, and there was no denial. With that, I would expect direct verbiage in a suicide note that the person is finished, doesn’t want to go on, doesn’t want to live anymore in some form or fashion. I would not expect a person to write a denial statement like we see in Kari’s note. One who commits suicide doesn’t go to “sleep for a while“. To me, these words suggest a big contradiction in behavior that is not logical given the circumstances.
Furthermore, if Kari wrote a suicide note, which would indicate she wasn’t in denial, other people besides Matt should have seen signs of her being despondent. But oddly, this is absent as well. By all other people’s accounts, Kari was happy and optimistic on the day she supposedly committed suicide. The pieces of this puzzle aren’t matching up.
Now imagine if someone were to do the unthinkable and kill someone, and wants to cover it up with a fake suicide note, then the statement about going to sleep for a while would make sense. They wouldn’t want to write the word suicide or death, and they would be in denial about what they were actually doing (murder), so they would likely write something to sanitize the situation.
I also found the statement “I love you Matt–I am sorry for the past few weeks” an odd statement, and a red flag as well. Someone truly suffering, and wanting to die would likely explain why they are sorry–if they chose to say I’m sorry. They wouldn’t give a generic apology like this. They would want to get it off their chest, and explain why they are sorry, or why they acted the way they did.
Furthermore, women as a whole are usually robust when it comes to expressing their feelings, written or verbal. Men, on the other hand, are not usually not. Men, on average, say things quickly and to the point. Women usually elaborate, think, clarify, restate, mull over their thoughts, and with that, I would expect to see some of that in a suicide note. I would speculate that when a woman decides to commit suicide and write a note, she typically writes a long(er) note that may ramble about her pain–whatever that pain is.
Clearly, here if you had to guess which sex wrote this, you would guess a man by the lack of emotional expression, and the lack of words.
I decided to see what research says about suicide notes because I am not an expert in them by any means. While I understand people, I don’t know much about suicide notes so I looked and found this:
Police investigation records of all suicide cases in 1992 (n = 769) and the suicide notes that had been left (224 notes for 154 subjects) were examined. Note-leavers were characterized as young females, of non-widowed marital status, with no history of previous suicide attempts, no previous psychiatric illness, and with religious beliefs. Suicide notes written by young people were longer, rich in emotions, and often begging for forgiveness. Suicide notes written by the elderly were shorter, contained specific instructions, and were less emotional. A significant proportion of note-leavers did mention their difficulties. Suicide notes may serve some explanatory purpose and may have a therapeutic role in helping the surviving relatives to understand the suicide. A knowledge of the messages contained within suicide notes could be useful for suicide prevention programmes. The significance of suicide notes is best understood within the context of the occurrence of suicides.
Clearly, when I read this and I saw the word guilt, I couldn’t agree more. That makes sense! Guilt would be expressed, and there is absolutely no guilt expressed in the letter that is typed by “Kari”. You would think Kari would have had a lot of guilt for not saying good-bye to her parents, and to her daughters, especially her daughters.
If Kari felt she had to be with Kassidy, wouldn’t she have to make it “right” with her two daughters who are still alive and left behind? Wouldn’t she have said more to them than what is seen in these letters?
It defies logic to think a mother would abandon two healthy children who need her to be with another daughter in heaven, and I think we all agree any mother who felt compelled to do so would leave a long goodbye explaining why to help her daughters’ cope. Yet there is nothing for Kari’s daughters in this note.
The fact that there is no guilt whatsoever in this note is a red flag. But if someone were to fake a suicide note, guilt is one emotion they would never think to feel, is it?
Also, there were pens found on the nightstand. This is weird. If Kari were to have had a pen at her bedside, why wouldn’t she have signed the note? It makes absolutely no sense. But if someone else wrote the note, they might grab a pen to sign it and then realize last minute, they can’t actually do it. That would make sense, wouldn’t it?
When we add up the pieces to this puzzle, it clearly is painting one and only one picture that Kari didn’t write this note, and that someone else did.
