Bill Belichick, The New England Patriot’s coach, makes pursed lips in his press interviews this week, and I can hear the people out there saying, “Oh, that indicates he is lying.”
That’s flat out not true. Pursed lips happen for a variety of reasons, and none of them indicate a person is lying.
While a lot of people lying will make this expression, a lot of honest people will make it too! I can assure you.
To read my thoughts on the Patriots, read my thoughts on Tom Brady here.
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People are wondering what I think after watching this interview of Tom Brady of the New England Patriots.
Do I believe he is telling the truth?
I do not believe him. No.
He gives many clues in this clip that he is not being forthright, and he makes it worse at the end of the clip when he says he doesn’t want anyone touching his balls!
What do you think…
[polldaddy poll=8602996]
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I have talked about the body language of dogs a few times on my blog, and I think this picture should help a lot of people, and hopefully save children and dogs a lot of pain.
Dogs, as well as many other animals, communicate very clearly, but its the people who don’t take the time to understand the animal. Dogs actually make facial expressions–think I am crazy, go ahead–but its true. This dog truly has a furrowed brow.
If you have a dog, stop and make a surprise expression at your dog and see if he or she responds. Chances are he or she will stop, look at you and appear to be hesitant. Yes, dogs pick up on our emotions, too.
And their body language is also very clear, if you learn what the signals mean.
You just have to take the time to truly get to know your companion animal to see it.
Please share this!
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Many people tell me that when they hear “to be honest with you”, or similarly, “to tell you the truth” and “honestly”, they believe the person is lying. As they say, why else say it unless you are going to lie?
Listen to Shahid Khan, owner of the American NFL team, the Jacksonville Jaguars, say it above at time marker 10:26.
“Well, I gotta be honest with you, its kind of the only thing that made me a little bit angry,” says Khan about being held at the border after 911 due to being of foreign descent.
Do you think he is lying?
He is not lying. So why do honest people say this?
I polled people on my Facebook page, and here are some of the responses people gave why they use it:
“… I use that, normally… right before I state something reluctantly. If I am aware that the truth is going to illicit a negative reaction from someone, I will us that phrase as a preface, especially after being pestered for information that I would not like to share.”
“I think I’ve used the phrase more when I am asked for my opinion on something and I feel that the person asking may not like my opinion after I express it.”
“I do say “honestly” and “to be honest” when I’m admitting some kind of harsh truth that I have not wanted to say for fear of a fight. I also say it when I want to emphasize something truthful.”
That makes sense, doesn’t it? So honest people use these terms, too.
Can a liar use these phrases?
Absolutely.
But is this a reliable clue to deception?
I don’t believe it is.
Unless we can delineate why we know its a lie versus when it is the truth, then I would caution people from making assumptions because its not much better than a coin toss otherwise.
Below Katy Perry say, “I’ll be honest. Sometimes I just watch the Super Bowl for the half time show and the commercials.”
See time marker :25.
Is she telling the truth?
Absolutely!
She is absolutely telling the truth and doing exactly what others said above–prefacing her statement because she doesn’t think it is going to be liked! Katy Perry gives us a micro-expression of fear before she begins, and then covers her face because she is slightly embarrassed she admitted it!
If you recall, Katy first replied with “I love the Super Bowl, of course”–that’s what caused her pause. With her next statement, she basically admits she doesn’t love the game for necessarily “the game”, and she honestlytells you why!
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Many people are taught today and continue to believe that if someone as they are talking gazes upwards and to the left (your left)–then they are lying. The theory is called Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). NLP believes when we gaze up and to the left, we are imaging. We only recall memories looking up to the right.
I don’t believe this for a minute.
I asked my readers to help me look for examples of people who shifted their eye gaze up and to the left, and are honest to help put an end to this myth.
The FBI has even put out a publication in their bulletin denouncing it as credible in June 2011. See here.
“Twenty-three out of 24 peer-reviewed studies published in scientific journals reporting experiments on eye behavior as an indicator of lying have rejected this hypothesis.”
Watch Mike Bloomberg talk in this video below. In the first 15 seconds, watch his eyes gaze up and to the left.
He says, “I don’t have anything in common with people who sit there and say oh my god, it was terrible. It’s water under the bridge or the dam, so get on with it.”
You can tell he is not lying. He has no reason to.
People move their eyes all over in conversations –up, down, right, left and sideways–and the only thing you can glean from it is that a person is simply thinking. That’s it. We think when we tell the truth and we think when we lie. So it tells us nothing else.
Here is another one for you. Watch Fred Armisen answer a question about liking Molly Shannon. He looks up to the right and then to the left as he answers the question!
This is in French, but this Paris hostage has nothing to gain by lying and reading the sub-titles you can see she isn’t saying anything worthy of lying, but she clearly looks up and to the left.
In this video below, there are a lot of eye gazes when you watch in both directions. But there is also an up an to the left at time marker 11:01 by the woman in pink, Kara Swisher, and clearly she is not lying. She says, “There has been a big war on talents and payments.”
Please feel free post more examples in the comment section below that you find to stop this myth once and for all. Once people see it with their own eyes, they will likely believe it is untrue.
Many thanks to the people who are helping me squelch the myths! A big shout out to M.A.!
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