Janay Rice and Camille Cosby
Janay Rice spoke out for the first time since she was knocked out by her NFL football player husband, Ray Rice, earlier this year.
It’s very painful to see Janay talk in complete denial–protecting Ray, and showing anger toward the public and the media for airing their story. She is clearly putting the blame in the wrong place, and unconditionally accepting her husband.
Ray’s callous and cold behavior is not “shock” or disbelief when he is shown on video ignoring Janay who is passed out cold on the floor. The video shows a pompous, arrogant man who has no regard for what he had just done to his wife.
This does not bode well for their relationship or future, and I have fear for Janay’s well being if she stays with Ray as she seems to be currently doing.
Many people have asked me about Camille Cosby’s behavior in the wake of the Cosby situation, too.
People wonder why these women stay so loyal to a man in such dark situations.
For the average person, walking away from your life amidst difficulties is hard. You have to literally start your life over. That by itself is scares a lot people into denial and causes them to blindly and often dangerously try again, and again, or turn their back on problems in hopes they will go away.
Now add that these two women are married to men who have earned substantial amounts of money, albeit different for each man, but walking away from a well-to-do lifestyle is even harder. Imagine going from a lovely home, staff that cares for you, and a top quality life and walking out into a bleak cold world where you have no way to maintain your lifestyle.
Furthermore, these men are strong dominant men, and typically these types marry subservient women who cater to their husband’s celebrity and fame, and are not used to being the dominant and defiant one. They are not used to being the one in charge, making decisions and controlling their future. They are not comfortable executing big changes, and so they often go into denial.
It’s not pretty to watch, but is part of the human spirit to want to keep what is good and push away what is bad at all costs.
So even if these two women have ideas that thing aren’t right, it’s much easier in the “short term” to turn their backs than to deal with these situations. Life appears to be, at least temporarily, more comfortable right now staying put and pushing away the problems.
The reality is in the long run it will be that much harder, but they don’t have the foresight to see it nor do they want to.
As this is slightly off topic, if this isn’t allowed, please remove my query, Eyes.
I recently got into a discussion on another board regarding Adrian Peterson and Ray Rice. Frankly, I held the stance that what Adrian Peterson did to his son (“punish” him with a switch to the point that he injured his legs, back and genitals) was as bad, if not worse than what Ray Rice did but the punishment for Peterson (at the time) was far less severe. I believed that since Janay was an adult and has a way out of the situation, can call for help and can escape but a four year old child cannot, that Peterson’s punishment ought to have been as severe as the punishment that Rice received (even though it has now been removed). Is that unreasonable? I was informed that in different areas of he country, using a switch is still acceptable. I maintain that it is child abuse.
I am only posing query here for insight. A lot of the posters here have a lot more than me. I have been following this blog since 2008, though. I very rarely post. I just come here to learn and try to improve my insight. Hoping your other followers can give me their viewpoint on this.
I am not familiar with Adrian Peterson. Forgive me. But yes, those who are voiceless need us most.
I am aware of both cases Jessica, and I completely agree with you. 🙂
Eyes, have you been listening to the Serial podcast? I would love to know what you think of Adnan.
I feel sorry for Janay Rice because I think her husband’s former team really twisted her mind around in an attempt to manage Rice’s image and kill the scandal. I don’t think she sees things clearly right now, but I hope she will in the future.
Camille is more problematic as one of the women whose come forward, Lou Ferrigno’s wife I believe, said Camille was present the night Cosby tried to attack her but that she went to bed and left them alone. That sounds like she had some knowledge of Bill’s proclivities.
Adnan is a sociopath! 🙂
Adnan is a sociopath! GUILTY 🙂
Thank you, I was hoping you would address Janay Rice! What I find chilling is that her parents are in denial along with her. I suspect that domestic violence may not be new to Janay’s family. I once heard an interview with the brother of an abuse victim who said “No one can get away with hitting my sister, if he’s not married to her”! Apparently there is abuse, and there is putting a woman in her place 🙁
You are right about family being too accepting of the violence. The family Janay came from may have a history of violence, unfortunately. It’s a vicious circle.
The family also gets benefits of the fame and wealth. It has always been thus with families using their daughters to get power, land, money for themselves (I think of all the young girls who got sold to kings for land and titles for their fathers and uncles).
I think the children are a big part of staying with an abusive or cheating man. The thought of starting over with a step-parent in the children’s lives is a hard one. A lot of people (myself included) are from broken homes, and I stayed with a marriage that wasn’t good for me for a lot of years to keep my child in a good home. For older women, there is still the thought of keeping things together for the children and grandchildren. The need for a sense of family is a strong one.
I hope Janay thinks hard and long about staying with that kind of violence, however The next blow could end her life. The children would, then, have no parents. This wasn’t the first occasion of violence, most likely. I feel very sorry for her. The state shock that violence causes to a woman makes it very hard to function, much less, make important decisions. By the time they are functioning at a level of being able to think clearly, violence erupts again. This makes it very hard to get out. I hope she has family to encourage and assist her in future decisions.
It was only ur arm, back, ect not ur face! I did apologize u just forgot. It was weeks ago, stop hanging on to that ur ruining everything for everyone. U contribute by making me mad. Calling u names n throwing stuff at u hardly counts as abuse, grow up. Ur college degree doesn’t mean ur not worthless n dumb. Count me n with knowing about Janay’s situation.
Thank you to both of you for addressing this comment further below. For others reading remi’s comment here, please scroll down and read Karon’s and remi’s replies toward the bottom of the comments to understand where this comment above is coming from and don’t just read it at face value.
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I know more about abuse than you think I do. It will grow you up fast, thank you. I am sorry that you believe the things you mentioned were not abuse. I doubt very seriously that my opinion on abuse is making it worse for anyone, because everyone that saw that video has an opinion already.
Oh Karon, I hope u didn’t misunderstand my reply to ur post! I was repeating, or quoting things my husband said to me. He really believes them to. Years of counseling didn’t help him a bit. I don’t think it will change Ray Rice either. They learn how to lie about it when they get arrested, but when ur alone with them the truth comes back out. You already know that though, right? 🙂 I take alot of medication to control siezures I’ve had since he repeatedly slammed my head into the side of a toilet while I was pregnant. He admitted to the police officers arresting him what he had done, but never since. N shows no shame over the problems our son has. I spend all my time now trying to help my son with counselors & Dr.’s. The guilt kills me. My turn to over share I guess! Lol
I am really sorry to hear of all you are going thru, Remi. I wish you and your son the best in life. i wish we could all be free of violence of any kind.
I’m so sorry to hear you had to endure such horrible things. I hope you find peace in moving forward.
I thought your comment was brilliant, Remi. Bless you and I am sorry for what you’ve been through. You should be a writer; you captured his voice perfectly.
I believe that it is important for us to not look down upon abuse victims, but support them in every way we can.
Thank you for the well written article. It is so easy for people to judge these two women, but I believe they are both staying with what they know. The unknown is a frightening prospect for both women.