Brene Brown on Power

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I was listening to Brene Brown, a professor and author, speak about power the other day. If you haven’t looked into her work, I highly recommend it. She is fantastic on many topics from empathy to emotion to vulnerability. I was actually interested in her work in empathy which lead me to this podcast on power. And in a strange and odd way, the two are intertwined.

We all have so many ideas of what power is, and in the last four years, our definitions may have changed–especially after the last administration. Even disregarding that, I think most of us would struggle to define it. And define it clearly. But Brene Brown does, and she does it eloquently in her podcast. She explains how people can wield power, which is neither negative or positive on its own, but rather it becomes so in how it is applied.

Brene Brown explains the different types of power and how they are applied in a way you can use this information for personal relationships, political leaders and even bosses. Which type of power do they use? It will tell you a great deal about them.

The reason I am bringing up this podcast and the topic of power is because it also relates to deception. As you listen to her descriptions of power, you should clearly be able to see which use of power will be deceitful, dishonest and untrustworthy. And worse highly destructive.

Let me know what you think. If you listened to the podcast, did you enjoy it?

January 6 Pipe Bomber Video

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I was astounded by one thing when I watched the video of this man place his pipe bombs. It says something about his personality. Do you know see it and know what it is?

I will write it in the comments in the coming days.

Meghan Markle and Prince Harry

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That was quite an interview that Meghan and Prince Harry did with Oprah on Sunday night on CBS. Did you catch it?

I normally wouldn’t have watched the show as I have very little interest in celebrities or royals, but several readers requested that I do, and so I tuned in.

Inquiring minds want to know: Who is being truthful and who is lying?

I suspect many people likely formed opinions on who is was honest, and who is being unreasonable long before this interview. There was a ton of press coverage on it — much of it from tabloids, which is useless.

When you want the truth, I always say that you need to hear the people involved speak directly, and they finally did!

During the interview, Meghan portrays herself as a person who had little to no knowledge of the royal family prior to meeting Prince Harry. That makes me go “hmm”. She was a celebrity herself, so the glitz and glam life is usually a topic of interest to such people.

And Meghan’s story about meeting the Queen for the first time seems unrealistic when she basically suggests she was just meeting “grandma”. It seems too clueless. I wasn’t buying her story.

If you want my opinion, there is notable arrogance in Meghan’s attitude that she is trying to cover by pleading ignorance. My read on it: She didn’t feel as a celebrity she had to bow down to anyone.

As I sat and digested the interview, I am also left with an odd message in my head. Meghan wants us to believe that the life as a royal was brutal–that the institution stonewalled her from care and protection, and yet in this same interview she tells us when she heard Prince Philip was in the hospital she called the Queen directly. She and Harry have direct line to her! When you compare these two concepts, you see a disconnect. Or wonder did things since change and she didn’t tell us?

I don’t think Meghan is being 100% truthful. She is clearly painting herself in the best light, so take things with a grain of salt. She is also painting the Queen in a good light, and the Queen is the ultimate one in charge, right? She points at her and then points away. It’s conflicting evidence, which is your red flag to be on alert.

Also, Archie was not directly entitled to be a prince, according to royal experts. Why doesn’t she mention this?

However in contrast, the stories that she tells about how she, Archie and Harry were treated, are no the less invalid. To hear there was talk about the baby’s skin color, that Harry’s security was pulled–when he didn’t ask to be a royal is flat out sad, but shocking? No.

I am not shocked about the accusations of dysfunction in the royal family. How can they not be dysfunctional and how can we as a society not see it?

The royal family puts on a show, a public display of perfection–they sell the dream of what royalty is. They have to portray a dream of glamour, wealth and aristocracy. To me, that is a fairy tale from long ago and has no basis in reality today. You can’t have royals who have emotional break downs, who cheat, are racist, etc.

But people are flawed: royal or not. And its time we wake up and stop expecting a fantasy! Meghan obviously fell for it too at first, but Harry sees the reality behind it as he reflects on his mom’s life.

From the interview, I believe that Harry and Meghan have worked things out with the Queen and they are on good terms with her. They agreed to part on their terms–whatever they are. However, Prince Harry and his father Prince Charles are still feuding — and I suspect the subject involves racial issues. Prince William will not step in. He is and will continue to follow in line of the royal protocols.

I honestly think Harry is a good man, and I like him. The rest of them? They either accept the fairy tale and all that comes with it, or they move on! End of story for me.

What do you think?

Margaret Rudin

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ABC’s 20/20 featured the story of Ron and Margaret Rudin this past weekend. Did you catch it?

Margaret and Ron were both married five times, and this last marriage ended with Ron being murdered. Ron’s beheaded body was found in an antique chest burned in the desert. Margaret was the last one to see him.

The question, of course, was whodunit.

Margaret has always stood steadfast that she was innocent, but she ended up being convicted, and served 20 years of her life sentence before winning parole a year ago in January.

When you watch Margaret speak, what do you see? Do you see an innocent woman or someone who is denying her dirty deeds?

I always caution people not to assess someone’s truthfulness after they have paid the price for their crime. Why? Because there is no longer any pressure to have to succeed with their lie. Liars leak the most clues when they are under pressure to succeed with the lie, avoid punishment, etc.

Once the stakes are gone, its very easy to say you are innocent without any stress or indicators–there are zero risks and all benefit to do so now! That’s not to say one wouldn’t leak clues, but I have seen guilty people years later come across very honest and innocent when they claimed they were innocent when they were far from it! So be warned.

However, Margaret, in my opinion is only fooling herself here. She thinks she is still so brilliant she can tell you her story and you won’t pick up on the inconsistencies, but oh dear, no. She is wrong.

Did you catch any of her leaks?

Here is one of my favorites: “They stuck the name on me. That ‘black widow, black widow, black widow,’ like I had killed somebody before, or like that I was in the habit,” said Margaret Rudin.

Oh dear, Margaret. You aren’t good at self-censoring, are you? Your interview? It was a train wreck. I did not believe a word.

Scott Falater: Truth teller or liar?

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Did you catch ABC’s 20/20 this past weekend? They told the story of a Scott Falater who murdered his wife, but claimed no memory of it. As the story evolved, his family came to the conclusion he must have been sleepwalking. Scott, in his confusion, seemed to agree with them.

It’s highly likely many of you rolled your eyes at such a claim, right? I mean kill someone in their sleep while sleepwalking? That’s nuts.

But could it happen?

Would you believe it possible?

Did you believe it happened?

I actually was an active sleep-walking child into my adolescence. It was chronic for me. I did it many, many times. One time I even got dressed and ready to go babysit after a nap, and woke up holding the phone on the other side of our house in the kitchen. I was so confused as my father was standing there annoyed with me, telling me I was belligerent with my mom on the phone.

Belligerent? What was I doing and saying? I truly had no idea.

I had no memory of getting up, getting dressed, answering the phone or moving around the house, let alone talking to my mom and being grumpy and agitated. It was stunning and shocking to hear these stories of me doing things I had no conscious recollection about! I had dozens of stories told to me about the crazy things I did when asleep. If anyone could understand this, I would say it would be me.

People can do weird things in their sleep that we don’t know or understand.

And I did things I wouldn’t do in my awake life.

One time I was away at a camp in junior high school. I was in 7th grade. The 8th grade group slept in another area and they were, you know above us. No one dared pull anything on them. We were somewhat intimidated by them. You remember those days, right?

Well, I guess in the middle of the night I walked into their room where there were a dozen bunkbeds, turned on the light and said “Hey guys!” My best friend knew I slept walk and realized I was gone and got me and put me back to bed! I had no idea. I had made quite a stir and became this oddity among them. Did you hear what Renee did?

Again, I had no idea I did any of it. I just had to watch these people tell me in disbelief what I did, and realize it probably true.

While watching this story of Scott Falater on 20/20, it appears this story is a true mystery to many people.

But I do believe this show gave us a very clear answer as to what the truth is in this case.

Did you see it?

Check back to the blog in the next week for my response! I will either leave a comment in the comment section or I will post about it!

Take a vote. What do you think?