Lyle and Erik Menendez
ABC’s 20/20 aired the newest twist in the Lyle and Erik Menendez story this past weekend: Young millennials, specifically those on TikTok, are calling for the release of the murderous brothers. They claim that after enduring a lifetime abuse at the time of the murders, these two shouldn’t have to serve a life sentence.
In our modern day, it seems if you can generate enough interest in a case, perhaps you can renew interest and free people? I’m all for freeing the wrongly convicted and those who confessed to a crime they didn’t commit, but to free two cold-blooded murders like the Menendez brothers?
It boggles my mind.
To the younger generation, I say this:
Lyle and Erik weren’t children when they killed their parents. They were not dependent to their parents for food, shelter or freedom. These “boys” were actually grown MEN, ages 18 and 21 at the time they intentionally killed their parents. They were capable of taking care of themselves.
They had the FREEDOM to leave at any time, to file complaints against their parents and take responsible action for the abuse they suffered if they felt they were seriously wronged. They say they were afraid their parents would kill them if they did. And if so, they still could have moved out, started their own lives, secured their safety and cut contact. They had other options besides murder.
Furthermore, it wasn’t like they snapped that day at the abuse of their parents. They planned the murder. They could have planned their escape equally.
Erik wrote a screenplay detailing what he eventually did–before he did it. He wrote of the murders. The motive in his screenplay? Money. And then once they committed the atrocity, they lied about it and denied it, and hello, spent the money! It doesn’t take rocket science to see this.
They didn’t show any signs of pain and agony over the destruction of their family in such a brutal way–their parents harm to them or their harm to their parents. No, the men went out and lived lavishly on their parents money as if they won the lottery. They estimate when this happened they spent upwards of $700K before their arrest and that was 30 plus years ago!
The men acted callous, cold, arrogant, selfish and calculating.
Do I think the father was sexual abusive to the boys? That’s a good question.
I see pain, when the men testify at times, even agony, however, their story doesn’t 100% jive for me as honest. Erik says as to the reason they killed their parents was, “Me telling Lyle, that uh, my dad had been molesting me” (see video below). He suggests that was the final blow.
But what doesn’t ring sincere here is this: Erik says, “…it was Lyle who first penetrated him with a toothbrush as they played in the woods when he was 5.” It wasn’t his father, ironically, who molested him first. And Lyle admits to doing this to his brother multiple times.
So your brother molested you first and you find him a reasonable and trustworthy person to say hey dad did this too me too?
It could happen (it’s not impossible as many years past), but the odds are low.
And now that news breaks your brother, the brother who molested you?
Think of it another way, if you were Lyle: If you come from an incest family, and you too committed incest. How would you feel about it?
You would feel intense shame. You would want to hide it because you took part in it too. You would feel sick, dirty and gross and would want to bury that memory once you learned it was wrong. You would likely shun the topic and avoid it at all costs because you would think you were as sick as dad — even if you knew better. Emotions are hard to shake from an experience like this–even decades later as an adult who got therapy and understands you were a victim. That’s how a normal person would think in this experience: Bury it, deny it and do not talk about it. If your brother tried, you’d shoot him down. Quick. Right?
Does that make sense?
Personally, if this story is true that Lyle sexually abused Erik in real life, I honestly don’t think they would say a word in public either. What would be the benefit? It’s way too humiliating and not needed to be shared. I think most people who endured something like this would rather die than talk about it. Normal people who feel shame would have to hide this at all costs. Someone who doesn’t feel shame, remorse or guilt wouldn’t know this.
So something is off.
Was there abuse? Potentially.
Could it just be they are showing excruciating pain because they had to testify to something –“a story”–that is so humiliating as this a last ditch attempt to try to stay out of prison? They needed a defense and there were few they could claim.
Imagine saying you abused your brother when he didn’t to save yourself. How would that feel? That’s a possible explanation too. It would be utterly humiliating.
Terry Moran says seeing the vein pop in Lyle during the testimony of the sex abuse made him believe the abuse. For me, that blood popping vessel was anger. Why was Lyle angry at this point? Was it anger that he had to say this stuff “a story” to fight for their lives? At first, in that segment of the video I feel Lyle has empathy towards his brother, and then as his brother tells the story I see anger and disgust.
We just aren’t getting the true unfiltered story here, plain and simple.
You are getting a mix of truth and lies that would take me hours of testimony watching to ferret out. There likely was some abuse, but they embellished it for sympathy. That’s most probable by the behavior I see, and where I sit after watching the 20/20 clips.
Several of their abuse stories are pure fabrications–100% to garner sympathy for them–without doubt. Do I believe an abused son would get into bed with his mom and touch her “everywhere”? And she would tolerate it? I absolutely do not. They had to paint mom a villain too.
I believe the Menendez brothers lived a very affluent lifestyle, and were raised by a narcissist father who fostered and nurtured narcissist/psychopathic thinking in his children, which ultimately was his and his wife’s undoing. I do not believe these men should be set free.
What do you think?
I think they are exactly where they need to be in prison. I also think both parents were horrible people, but if we all went around killing everyone who wronged us, a lot of people would be dead.
I think you are absolutely right, their excuses were nonsense as they were free to leave. There are a lot of spoiled children nowadays, with all the money some people have, and some of the children do go off center for a while when trying to find their own worth, but these two are a special breed of bad.
I clearly remember this case for two reasons – 1) My best friend is an LASD deputy, and as his job required at the time, he drove the Menendez kids to and from court every day (as well as OJ during his trial); and 2) my parents were/are very abusive people, and I made a calculated decision at age 30-ish to disengage from them to spare my sanity. It was the best decision of my life. Most people do not understand that decision, and they question me on how I could disconnect from those people, but they don’t understand the emotional/verbal/physical abuse I endured under their regime because their parents were never that terrible; they can’t imagine it. It took a decade for my husband to understand my decision until after experiencing their terrible behavior for himself. However, given that abusive upbringing, I could never do what the Menendez children did. In my teenage years, I told myself that to get away from those people, I had one option, and one option only – to get the best education I could, which would lead to the best career possible, and ultimately be financially free from those people, which I did! Best advice ever! I am glad I listened to myself! Those of you in an abusive family can move on too. It’s not impossible; it may be challenging, but it’s worth it, and you are worth it!
I just realized that I am referring to the Menendez brothers as ‘kids’ and ‘children’ in my comments; yet I am the same age as them. Why? What does that mean?
Thank you for sharing your story and having the courage to do so! You did the absolute right thing walking away from an abusive family. People who haven’t endured it or studied the insanity of it cannot understand. I suspect you are referring to the brothers as “kids” and “children” because you are likely middle-aged today and once you get older, you do tend to see the young as such — even when they are in their 20s and 30s. They all seem like young, young kids even when they are adults. It’s just the perspective of age and time. You know they are adults but they are so young. Yes?
There is something horrific about the both of them doing this together. To come to that decision together, of all the decisions possible, to concur.
I would love to hear your thoughts on interviews with Jordan Brown, and others involved in the case, from the 20/20 episode if you have time! Have read your blog for years and love your posts so much. Thanks for taking the time to do it!
I remember this case, as I’m in my 60’s. Lyle has always seemed to me like ‘the leader’ of the two, the one in control who very likely directed what they were going to do/say. I believe Lyle meant for Erik to get up on the stand and tell whatever hateful things he could about their father. However, I do not believe that Lyle intended for Erik to ever mention anything about HIM (Lyle). I think it’s very likely that when Erik got emotional, he went off script. And Lyle, sitting there, very likely experiencing all that you have described, seems to have been reaching a boiling point, which showed in his face. Rage, shame, etc, at reliving his own experience with their father, now shared in front of everyone, but also having been pointed out (by his own brother in public) as a sexual abuser himself. They came to court to convince everyone that their father was the bad guy, when actually, the finger was being pointed squarely at… Lyle. I was surprised back then, and still am, that Lyle didn’t take a swing at Erik right there in court that day. Yet sometimes, unfortunately, in abusive situations, the safest ways to get the truth out is in front of as many witnesses as possible. I do believe they both need to serve out their sentences, and that Erik still needs to be protected from Lyle, for ‘telling’.