This is a very chilling scenario: What would you do if you walked into a murder in progress? Would you step away silently to protect yourself? Would you call attention to the murderer? Would you silently walk away and call 911?
What would you do? Compelling to think about…
Thanks to Keith for sharing this with me!
Watching human behavior is endlessly fascinating!!
When I watch the video of Ted Bundy, I am immediately struck at how his game is “on”. Bundy had an arsenal of tools that he used to fool people psychologically, and I am amazed at how many that he employs in the first eleven seconds of this video.
By Bundy’s behaviors, it is clear that he knew he could deceive anyone. Bundy understood human behavior and psychology at levels that far exceed most people, if you want my opinion, intuitively, and he knew how to turn the tables on people in seconds. He was wickedly manipulative.
Read moreWhile we all know that Bundy is guilty here, and we are all creeped out by the man in hindsight, I can assure you at the time when people first watched Bundy talk, he gave people serious doubts by his behaviors and actions. Bundy knew how to make people want to believe him. Add in his good looks and articulate speech, and it is no wonder he managed to get away with so many murders.
Bundy figured out that defensiveness is a sure sign of guilt, and what most people use as a gauge to detect truthfulness. He knew to avoid it at all costs. He also knew that if he appeared confident and self-assured, he’d gain more people’s trust.
Bundy also used distraction. He uses it here with chilling ease. He talks about how he stole a comic book when he was five years old. And even further, he knew that if he admitted to some wrongs, in a time of accusations, that people would think he was truthful and honest. But more than that, Bundy knew if he talked about something where he was guilty, if he displayed any guilty behaviors, people might attribute them back to the benign behavior, instead of the more serious one. After all, Bundy used in his calculations that it’s human nature to reject the people in front of us are capable of horrible things. It’s much easier to accept he stole a comic book and is honest, rather than believe he is lying and guilty of killing people. Most people are Pollyannas.
Bundy used multiple techniques in a matter of mere seconds to lure in his victims. It’s horrifyingly chilling in this video alone. The ease at which Bundy psychologically baits us is simply mind-blowing. In the first eleven seconds of this video, I count five psychological tools that Bundy used to fool people. That’s almost one every two seconds!! It’s no wonder Bundy was so successful at his crime.
When Bundy says, “I am not guilty of the allegations that have been filed against me”, it is fascinating to watch him. He is very articulate. Notice how he keeps his eyes locked on to the interviewer? He used this as a tool, too. Most people believed (and sadly still believe) that eye contact is a sign of honesty. But when Bundy says this, he shows doubt. He bites his lip. His confidence wanes, and if you are savvy, you would see not only this, but that his initial laughter was as a fake as a plastic cake!
Yet, when you stack up his leaks versus his luring techniques, he’s still ahead of the game.
Bundy goes on to say, “I don’t know all of what you are speaking about, Lucky, it’s too broad and I can’t get into it in any detail…” What is fascinating about this is, if he was innocent, what detail would there be to talk about?
Bundy employs psychological trickery, again, when he says, “No man is truly innocent…” and again when he stares intently, without loosing eye contact with the interviewer, when he says, “Nothing like the things you’re referring too.”
I find it chilling the way that Bundy laughs at how he is as likely to die in front of a firing squad as is the interivewer is of dying in a plane crash. Bundy says with an eerie grin, “Let’s hope you don’t.”
Bundy says he did not lie awake thinking about it (the charges against him, I suspect). He says, “Honest to god, not a moment.” I don’t believe him for an instant. Do you see the lip curl at the end? It’s an indication that what he said was a fib (It’s my husband’s classic clue to deception!).
Listen to what Bundy says here:
“I’ve been told the parents of these girls are fairly decent people… I don’t know, and I really feel for them because apparently these people suffered some incredible tragedy in their lives. The loss of a loved one is probably the most extreme kind of loss one could suffer in this life, and I say, I feel as much for them as anybody can.”
Bundy is trying to get people to accept him as compassionate and caring, but when you look at his words, they are very revealing. In his attempt to gain our trust, he actually rambles like a fool here. Bundy, I suspect, subconsciously minimizes what he is saying and doesn’t even realize it. Words can be so telling.
Notice how Bundy uses the word “apparently”? That word discredits the parents suffering, as if maybe the girls weren’t really murdered, as if he needs proof, and doesn’t believe this is so. Perhaps this was a subconscious form of distancing? It’s notably odd.
Then Bundy postulates that the loss of a loved one is “probably” the most “extreme” kind of loss there is. Why is he hedging with “probably” here, yet using the word extreme? Either he believes it or he doesn’t. These words identify Bundy is inconsistent. His subconscious, I suspect, is leaking out his real feelings.
He also uses the word “some incredible tragedy”. Why the word “some”? It’s as if he is saying “some tragedy”, but not the worst tragedy, isn’t it? Again, his words are minimizing things without him even realizing it. Then if you consider the use of the word “incredible”, one can immediately see he is inconsistent and immediately knows that he is B.S.-ing.
I also find it odd how he says he’s been told the parents of these girls are “fairly decent”? What normal person would even consider putting into question the decency of the parents? Why does he use “fairly” instead of just decent? I don’t think anyone told Bundy, “Hey, you know, these girls parents were fairly decent.” It’s ridiculous. I suspect this was another subconscious slip of the tongue. He wanted to say decent, but just couldn’t do it. I also like how he ends the sentence with, “I don’t know”.
Bundy was rambling in an attempt to gain support, and this last paragraph, if you ask me, backfired on him, but I am not sure if the average person would have picked up on his hedging. Most people don’t see the importance of what I coined “hedge words”, but they are very, very telling.
I certainly wouldn’t want to have met Ted Bundy. He could manipulate many people into believing they were holding an orange when it was really an apple, if you want my opinion.
In my last post, I shared a comment from someone who called themselves a pathological liar. I want to say that I have no exceptional skills here to identify if this person is legit or not by these few words alone. I can only look at the words they write, like everyone else, and see if they fit with people who I have known in the past who are chronic liars. When I do that, the words written do ring true and are believable for someone who is a chronic liar. I personally don’t think this comment by “Liar Liar” was a hoax.
Read morePeople who lack a conscience seem to be aware they don’t feel guilt or remorse, and know they are missing this emotion. They know they are unique and different. Yet in a twisted reality, I think it is this conscious understanding of their difference that becomes their biggest tool. They seem to realize people who feel remorse, compassion and empathy are excellent targets to use in their quest to get anything their heart desires. If they can find the right people, they can target their wants and needs, and meet them twice as fast than honesty would ever allow.
I believe there are high-functioning super liars that live among us and dupe more people than we’d ever want to know. I have witnessed more than a handful in my lifetime and what makes a super liar is not only a lack of a conscience (empathy or sympathy), but a keen wit to keep facts straight and an exceptional understanding of human behavior. If one possess these three traits, they are quite dangerous, because they will lure and use most of the population without anyone being the wiser for many years, if not a lifetime. It’s flat out chilling to witness.
I have witnessed normal everyday, honest, trusting smart people fall into the spell of a chronic liar/manipulator more times than I care to admit, and more often than not, with highly-skilled liars, the victims are absolutely clueless. I have seen communities rally behind these people, because they buy the lies they are fed.
I have even tried to pry open the eyes of honest people in these circumstances only to get rejected by them, because the chronic liar long ago sniffed me out as a threat, and painted me as evil before I ever spoke up. Super liars are even challenging for me. Their game plans are well thought out and executed to prevent people like me from exposing them. They are usually one step ahead of everyone, most of the time.
You must remember, these cruel people know how to role play better than everyone else in society, and they will play the parts they need to in order to accomplish their goal. They will elaborate great schemes to get what they want, because in the end they don’t feel remorse. They actually get an emotional high that they outsmarted everyone and that no one is the wiser. This game of cat and mouse is what continues to drive them, and ultimately what creates their superior self-image of arrogance. It gives them great confidence, which is a natural tool to gain the trust of others. They find it fun to outwit, outplay, outlast and outsmart their opponents, and often up the ante over the years to chilling levels, because they get away with it for so long.
Think of Hitler. Think of other evil dictators who came to power. They didn’t come to power being evil. The evil only surfaced once they established a trusting base that they later could manipulate.
People who are capable of great evil are the ultimate chameleons of our society. They quickly judge, assess and pick their soldiers, charting them on mission where the true motivator is disguised in fancy fluff, so they can win their personal war and achieve their personal goal with precision, speed, accuracy and ease.
But what is interesting about these people, as “Liar Liar” wrote, is that they do feel pain. They feel their own pain and that pain will often cause them to lash out with evil intent. These people are usually very vindictive, even if they do it anonymously or in private. Their pain can often be their downfall, because it fuels their desire for revenge, and revenge without a conscience is what ultimately exposes their evil deeds to the average trusting person, but often it is too late, and the victim by this point has usually paid the ultimate price.
I don’t think it is any surprise, I’m a people watcher. I love to watch people, and with that, I’ve learned a few things over the years that I thought I would share with you!
Read moreHave you ever considered that arrogant people tend to be deceptive more than the average person? That is not to say that all arrogant people lie, or all liars are arrogant. It is just one trait that instantly puts me on notice. Another trait that makes me cautious is a lack of compassion. People who are unable to feel for other people are more prone to lying. Without compassion, one has more potential to do harm. Paying close attention to this could save you from becoming another victim of deceit, or worse.
Arrogant people are pretentious and seem to have a superiority complex about them. I believe arrogance actually comes from feelings of insecurity. Arrogant people, deep down inside, don’t feel worthy, so they feign confidence, resulting in arrogance. Therefore, lying in these circumstances is not a far-fetched concept.
Look at Alex Rodriguez. When he confessed to using steroids a few weeks back, the arrogant and staunch man we saw in 2007 was suddenly gone. Now before us was a much more humbled man. The change is notable (though I would not call Rodriguez humble by any means).
Look at Nadya Suleman with her 14 children. She shows a total disregard for her entire family. Not only did she show no compassion for her children and their needs, she has put all her responsibilities on her aging mother. Worse, without any way to care for or support her children, she decided to have more. This shows a complete disregard and lack of compassion for anyone. With that, we know Suleman has a much higher propensity to be deceptive, or worse. As a general rule, Suleman is not someone I would trust.
On the flip side, however, confident people are self-assured. They know their strengths are solid and they have no need to over-inflate anything. Their confidence comes deep from within. Add to confidence, a sense of humility, and you have the opposite of arrogance. You have the traits of someone who is most likely going to be very trustworthy and moreover, compassionate. Think about Captain “Sully”, from U.S. Airways flight 1549. He is confident, self-assured, and exceptionally humble. He also demonstrated amazing compassion. Captain Sully, even before his heroic landing, is someone who I would have implicitly trusted.
The other night, my husband and I went out to dinner at my favorite sushi restaurant. We walked in the front door, and we were the only two guests in the entrance. There was a man behind the desk who looked up at us as we walked in. He was tall, slightly stocky, had sandy blond hair, and boyish features. I suspect he was in his mid-twenties.
Read moreWhen this man’s eyes met mine, I noticed he was startled. I thought it was odd. It’s rare to see someone startled when you walk into a restaurant. Then he grabbed some paperwork on the counter and shuffled it, but he didn’t look at it. He just took the papers and moved them from one hand to the other as he watched us approach.
Without a conscious thought, my brain kicked in and said to me, “He must be new!” before I could even rationalize all that just occurred in the seconds it took me to walk the 10 feet to the counter.
“Good evening,” he said. “How are you tonight?” He grabbed two menus and brought us to our seats. Once we were comfortable, he came back and introduced himself.
“Hi. I’m John. I’ll be your server today. Would you like the à la carte menu today?”
“Yes, actually we would. Thanks!” I replied back as he handed them to us.
He laughed. “You’re going to put me to the test today, aren’t you?” He cracked a slight smile.
For those of you who don’t eat sushi, eating à la carte is more complex and involved. You have to know the different fish, rolls and wraps, etc. Many people even order them by their Japanese name.
I couldn’t help but jump in. I said, “We are going to put you to the test, but don’t worry, we don’t bite. I promise. Are you new here?”
To no surprise of mine, he said, “Yes, this is my second day.”
We placed the order for our appetizers.
When the waiter left, I was dying to say to my husband, “I knew it!! I knew it!!! I knew he was new! It was written all over his face. Did you see it?? Did you see it??”
My husband, who thankfully allows me all the space to share everything I see, laughed and said, “No. I missed it. Sorry.” You could tell I was blind-siding him with this information out of nowhere!
It was a fascinating experience for me to pick up on such small nuances. I am becoming more consciously aware of how I process things subconsciously and instantaneously.
This man showed two emotions. His face expressed fear as we walked in. He was startled. I have no idea, if he showed it as a macro or micro expression, but he clearly expressed surprise. However, I am not sure how I registered the fear.
Did he express it on his face alone, or did I pick up on his body language (paper shuffling), or was it a combination of both? I have no idea because it all happened so fast that it became a blur once I started to put the pieces together. But it just amazes me how my brain connected those two emotions and knew instantly it meant that he had to be new. If I was asked to do that consciously, I think it would have taken me several minutes to come to that conclusion.
My subconscious brain comes to conclusions long before my conscious brain has even had time to analyze things. I’ve learned, however, if I can slow down what just happened, seconds after it happens, and go through it step-by-step, I can often learn from it. I can connect some of the dots consciously that I subconsciously put together without being aware of it. Does that make sense?
On a happy ending, the man was an excellent waiter. He has a bright future, if he keeps this as a career choice. He was top-notch, his timing was excellent and his service superb. I hope I calmed his nerves, because when we left, I told the owner right in front of him that his new employee was outstanding!
